The odd life of Warren Cuccarullo: the world’s most enigmatic session guitarist
Any mainstream musician is likely to lead a somewhat unusual lifestyle. The concept of spending more than half the year on tour, coupled with the rest of the time in a studio creating art, is daunting enough. However, it’s not surprising to see top industry figures branching into big business, whether venturing into fashion or, like Dr Dre and Snoop Dogg, launching their own trademarked gin. Even within the eccentric realm of the entertainment industry, Warren Cuccurullo stands out with one of the most unconventional résumés in popular music.
Starting off as a session musician, Cuccarullo had to be adaptable by design. No artist sounds like the last one that came through the door, so it’s not out of the question to go from funk to doo-wop to hard rock within the span of an afternoon on a busy day. At that rate, the only place that Cuccarullo could have gone to switch things up was playing with Frank Zappa.
Being a fixture of Joe’s Garage and Shut Up and Play Yer Guitar, Cuccarullo was responsible for some of the most pristine moments of Zappa’s career. After taking time to work on his own approach to jazz and art rock on Hot Rats and Apostrophe, this felt like the logical next step by just doing nutty exercises.
After his time with Zappa, Cuccarullo also became the guitarist in new wave legends Missing Persons, having a hand in many of their classic records. That daily dose of weirdness can only take someone so far, so Cuccarullo probably made the most off-the-wall choice that he could have by joining Duran Duran.
Because, really, in what world does this make sense? You have the glitzy pop stars responsible for anthems like ‘Rio’, and suddenly, they get a wild feeling and decide that their future lies in the same guy who made Zappa’s most off-the-wall material. This should have been a disaster on paper, and yet it turned into one of the greatest second winds of their career.
Throughout their funk-infused Notorious all the way up to Pop Trash in 2000, Cuccarullo made his mark on every track, even playing those glistening descending notes that open up their breakout hit ‘Ordinary World’. Only someone of his calibre could have made a pop act like Duran Duran have a hit that massive in the era of Nirvana and Pearl Jam, but Cuccarullo wasn’t done wowing everyone.
Cuccarullo, believe it or not, found his calling in the adult entertainment industry. Starting immediately after Pop Trash wrapped up, the guitarist appeared fully nude in gay porn magazines and eventually created the ‘Rock Rod’, which was a dildo modelled after his own delicate parts.
If anything, Cuccarullo also seemed to be ahead of the curve in some respects. After relaunching his website, he managed to create an exclusive members section of his website where he included explicit material of himself. So, yeah, everyone in the world who has ever made an OnlyFans might well have this man to thank for creating their entire marketing strategy.
Nowadays, the guitarist’s reputation is practically as big in the adult entertainment industry as he is for his fretboard skills. Whether it’s having fans exclusively for his guitar chops or his side hustle, Cuccarullo has the bases covered in the fields that had concerned mothers either telling their kids to turn their stereo down or wondering if they had this man’s contact information.
While Cuccarullo’s resume may leave any fan scratching their head, it all comes with the calling of any great rock eccentric. No matter if it’s porn or pentatonic licks, it’s all about what gets you off, so to speak.
