How Tool worked hard to troll a Scientology centre: “Fuck L Ron Hubbard and fuck all his clones”
In 2005, South Park released an episode called ‘Trapped In The Closet’, which would prove to be quite a spectacle. The TV series poked fun at Scientology and exposed what that religion genuinely believes, poking fun every step of the way. This was a bold move by the strangely animated characters, as prior to this moment, not many people had dared take on the church at risk of getting sued.
Scientology was off limits for many major networks because the religion had been known to press charges against anyone who spoke out openly against it. These days, people don’t hesitate quite as much, given that the South Park episode proved that many of the repercussions the church threatened were just empty threats.
This is why it was so shocking that Tool was so outspoken against religion in the ‘90s. The band is famous for the complex pieces of music that they put together. They are a shining example of what prog rock can be. While they make what is adjacent to rock music, by playing around with various styles, sounds, and time signatures, they really highlight just how limitless the genre is.
However, because of how exciting much of their instrumentation is, we often miss the point with their lyrics. Tool is as outspoken as any punk band, maybe even more so, and these punk traits mean that throughout their discography, they have taken jabs at plenty of organisations, including Scientology.
For instance, in their 1996 song ‘Ænima’, they decide to ridicule the church with the line “Fuck L Ron Hubbard and fuck all his clones.” There is also speculation that their scathing song ‘Eulogy’ is also about the Church of Scientology; however, whether that’s true or not remains unclear.
Their ridicule of the religion goes even further back than 1996, as three years earlier, the band was booked to perform at the Scientology Celebrity Centre in Los Angeles. Some people were confused as to why the band accepted these gigs, given their views were fairly straightforward; however, Maynard James Keenan and the rest of Tool have since alluded to the fact that they didn’t know they would be playing in a Scientology centre.
Keenan now thinks the shows were a plot by the church to try to get more young people interested in their organisation. “There was a guy who thought ‘If we get some young blood in here maybe we can help recruit people into Scientology, maybe we can get the Tool guys into Scientology’,” recalled Keenan, “They took me on the tour, which I was just like ‘Come on dude, anyone with a decent high school education is going to go you’re so full of shit’.”
The band decided to use their time on stage to troll the organisation. At one point during the gig, they brought out an exotic dancer, who performed with the band and made the show entirely surreal. In addition, rather than sing the lyrics to many of his songs, the Tool frontman decided to “baa” like a sheep, alluding to the fact that he thinks followers of the religion are being led astray.
During periods of artistic censorship and questions about what is and isn’t appropriate within music, all we can hope is that bands are brave enough to have the integrity of Tool and speak up for what they believe in, even if they are in the belly of the beast while doing it.
