The rock star Ozzy Osbourne dismissed as “a fucking dick”
Some of the biggest rock stars in the world could stand to learn a little bit from Ozzy Osbourne.
Admittedly, he wasn’t the kind of singer who seemed burdened with intelligence, and he did have some help when making his greatest hits, but there was also a lot more that he had to offer than simply being one of the craziest men in rock and roll. He was one of the purest music fans anyone could have asked for, and he was willing to put people in their place if they started to get a little too bigheaded in the press.
Because Osbourne learned the one lesson that seems to be the most important for any serious rockstar: learning to laugh at themselves. The world would probably be a lot less tough on Bono if he didn’t look like he was trying to be self-righteous at every single opportunity, and when listening to Osbourne’s escapades from throughout his career, he seemed to be your average guy that wanted the chance to play for as many people as he good. It became a job after a while, but he could still have some fun where he wanted to.
After all, anyone who finds the strength to carry on after the death of Randy Rhoads has to be doing something right, and when working with Zakk Wylde, ‘The Prince of Darkness’ managed to make the next phase of his career look like one big rock and roll party. But once he hit the 2000s, Osbourne flirted with the one idea that was either the best or worst decision of his career, depending on who you talk to: filming The Osbournes.
While ‘The Ozzman’ would tell you that he regretted ever filming the show later in life, it’s not like the whole thing is unwatchable. There might be a few moments that helped birth the more regrettable pieces of reality television that we see today, but there are also times when the facade came down and when we got to see Osbourne for who he truly was. He was the epitome of what a rockstar was supposed to be, and in a few episodes, he became everyone’s favourite bumbling dad.
This was something that no rockstar had done before, but whenever something original comes along, naturally, Hollywood wants 15 more of the same thing. And while the biggest names in hair metal had already done the basic media training to look like to do a few reality shows, seeing Gene Simmons try his hand at everything always hit a sour note with Osbourne when looking at his show, Family Jewels.
Roping in one’s family into television was always going to be a gamble, but when seeing the ritzy stuff that ‘The Demon’ from Kiss would flaunt, Osbourne felt that it made the bassist look absolutely terrible, saying, “He’s so sad that he’s even got a Polaroid book of all these dogs that he’s banged. For fuck’s sake man, get on with it, there’s more to life than screwing chicks! I mean, maybe he does live like that, but if he does, then he’s a fucking dick. I think the reason why The Osbournes is successful is because people appreciate that it’s real.”
Then again, Simmons has created a certain cult of personality around himself to the point where that’s not all that dissimilar to what he’s like in real life. To be fair, it is a lot more fun to see his children call him out on being cringy or including moments of him being a bit of a dick, but seeing an entire series of television where the main character fails to change for the better in any way isn’t exactly going to make for the most gripping episode-by-episode storyline.
Osbourne wasn’t looking to become a better person when he was making The Osbournes, but he could see through Simmons from the minute that he saw his show. This was someone who wanted to make a quick buck out of cashing in on the reality show trend, and while that’s all well and good at the moment, Simmons did forget at least one rule of the show: you have to at least be somewhat real. It’s clearly an act, but to see him not even trying to be likeable isn’t exactly the most fun thing to watch.
