The one musician Billy Joel never forgave himself for not being
A lot of songwriters would have killed to have the kind of track record that Billy Joel had.
Even though he has never been considered the coolest songwriter to ever live by any stretch, the craftsmanship behind every one of his songs is the reason why people always come back to his album tracks as much as his massive hits, whether that’s talking about ‘Just The Way You Are’, ‘Goodnight Saigon’, or ‘Zanzibar’. But whereas most people would see that as a blessing, it can become a curse a lot faster than you think.
Because from day one, Joel made it clear that he was not much of a fan of writing. He loved the idea of making music and doing whatever he could to get the sounds in his head onto the piano, but that was a lot different than finishing a song. Those were for the hit parade, and that was never a game that Joel was altogether comfortable with playing. He was very good at it, but by the end of his recording career, it took a lot for him to go back into the studio to have something to work on.
Then again, the biggest problem with Joel tended to be himself half the time. While he didn’t have to answer to anyone but himself when making his tunes, the impressive track record he already had was bound to set the bar much higher than anyone would have thought. No one wanted to hear a lesser version of ‘Movin’ Out’ or ‘Piano Man’, so it was up to him to keep working until he found something he could be proud of.
So when an album like The Bridge didn’t get the right audience, it was as if he did all that work for nothing half the time. He had the potential to still make great music, but since he already saw The Beatles as one of the gold standards of what good music should sound like, he didn’t have a prayer when competing with the likes of the classical composers in his record collection.
You have to remember that Joel created all of his songs the same way that most composers would construct a mini piano concerto, and if it didn’t work in that context, it was best to ditch the whole thing and move on. And while his final official record, River of Dreams, did have some of the finest songs of his career scattered throughout the record, he felt that Beethoven was always going to be looming over his head if he kept trying to make new music.
He could still get the best sounds he could out of his piano, but he was always hard on himself for not matching his heroes, saying, “I said, ‘When are you going to be content with yourself?’ There’s a quote from Neil Diamond, and he said, ‘I’ve forgiven myself for not being Beethoven’. And I said, ‘That’s my problem.’ I haven’t forgiven myself for not being Beethoven, and to this day, I still haven’t forgiven myself.”
But, really, is there anyone else who can in the pop sphere? Sure, there are people like Brian Wilson who could write the kind of beautiful concertos that Mozart would have been proud of, but no matter how much Joel tried to work, he was never going to end up on the same level as his genius idols. And when looking at Beethoven’s work, it’s not like Joel really needed to be in the first place.
A lot of Beethoven’s greatest works didn’t get there without a lot of work, and even if Joel never reached that level, he still had the same work ethic that almost every other rock and roll artist should. There are plenty of people who try to make the best music they can whenever they cut a record, but Joel always knew he had to put that little extra elbow grease on any tune to make the whole thing sound perfect.
