Far Out 40: The greatest anti-romance anthems
It’s that time of year again. Greeting card manufacturers and florists rub their hands together as couples adhere to traditions that decree love must blossom on one day above all others. Whether Valentine’s Day was established to reinvigorate the economy in the post-Christmas blight or as a morally chaste celebration of love, I cannot say. For better or worse, Valentine’s Day is an immovable feature of our calendar that makes some turn to love and others to anti-romance playlists.
“Wouldn’t it be good to know exactly how unpopular you are with the opposite sex compared to your classmates? Luckily for me, someone invented Valentine’s Day.” These are the words of the immensely lonely and desperate sixth-form student Will McKenzie from the British sitcom The Inbetweeners. This quote, taken from the beginning of the second episode of series two, perfectly illustrates how Valentine’s Day isn’t a joyous occasion for all. For those in moribund relationships or in the cold grip of loneliness, the day might only serve to amplify the ticking clock or the internal voice of doubt.
The Beatles famously sang ‘All You Need Is Love’, one of the greatest anthems to ever celebrate the invisible noun. But did the Beatles get it wrong? To quote another cynical Channel 4 sitcom, Jeremy Usbourne of Peep Show once shrewdly pointed out: “Love is all you need? No, actually, Beatles. You also need a person to do it with, Beatles.”
Superficially, love is a wonderful thing; however, just as Heaven necessitates Hell, its absence or perversion can land us in resentful ruin. So, for those among my readers who find themselves looking for a soundtrack to their sorrow or a cynical sing-along, we have the playlist for you.
If you find love songs are too obvious, twee, ignorant or just downright emetic, you have come to the right place. This diverse playlist will bring a hearty dose of realism, pessimism, hopelessness, frustration and angst that might just soothe your soul this Valentine’s Day. Next year, you could be sharing a glass of wine with a lover on the rue des Rosiers, asking a busker to play a French cover of ‘All You Need Is Love’, but for now, let’s bathe in the numb comfort of darkness and doubt.
The greatest anti-romance anthems
- Buzzcocks – ‘Ever Fallen In Love (With Someone You Shouldn’t’ve)’
- Joy Division – ‘Love Will Tear Us Apart’
- Lou Reed – ‘Caroline Says II’
- Bob Dylan – ‘Just Like A Woman’
- The Dirty Mac – ‘Yer Blues’
- Fleetwood Mac – ‘Go Your Own Way’
- Public Image Ltd. – ‘This Is Not A Love Song’
- Def Leppard – ‘Love Bites’
- The Verve – ‘Space and Time’
- Amy Winehouse – ‘Love Is A Losing Game’
- The Smiths – ‘Last Night I Dreamt That Somebody Loved Me’
- Leonard Cohen – ‘Hallelujah’
- The Cure – ‘Boys Don’t Cry’
- David Bowie – ‘Strangers When We Meet’
- New Order – ‘Leave Me Alone’
- Portishead – ‘Biscuit’
- The Doors – ‘The End’
- The B-52’s – ‘Quiche Lorraine’
- The Stranglers – ‘Princess Of The Streets’
- Betty Davis – ‘Anti Love Song’
- Father John Misty – ‘The Night Josh Tillman Came To Our Apt.’
- Iggy Pop – ‘China Girl’
- The Police – ‘So Lonely’
- The Chameleons – ‘The Fan and The Bellows’
- Spiritualized – ‘Broken Heart’
- The Kinks – ‘Nothin’ In The World Can Stop Me Worryin’ ‘Bout That Girl’
- Jimi Hendrix – ‘Hey Joe’
- Muddy Waters – ‘I Can’t Be Satisfied’
- The Beatles – ‘You’ve Got To Hide Your Love Away’
- Lloyd Cole and the Commotions – ‘Are You Ready to Be Heatbroken’
- Roy Orbison – ‘Only the Lonely’
- The Cardigans – ‘Losing My Favourite Game’
- Rodriguez – ‘Hate Street Dialogue’
- Roxy Music – ‘End of the Line’
- The Rolling Stones – ‘Dead Flowers’
- The Stone Roses – ‘I Wanna Be Adored’
- The Velvet Underground – ‘Femme Fatale’
- Lead Belly – ‘Where Did You Sleep Last Night’
- The Waterboys – ‘We Will Not Be Lovers’
- Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds – ‘People They Ain’t No Good’
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