The 10 most awkward sex scenes in movie history
There’s no real science behind making the perfect onscreen sex scene. There might be a certain rhythm (so to speak) between the two actors involved, but the line always had to verge between moving the story along rather than slipping into the full-on pornographic territory. Some might imply a bit of a sensual nature, but other scenes just make the viewer feel bothered for all the wrong reasons.
Throughout every one of the films on this list, there isn’t one drop of intimacy to be found, either playing the whole thing off for laughs or failing miserably at trying to make something click between the two characters. Despite all of their effort, these are the kind of scenes that feel gratuitous to some extent but also make the audience feel slightly disgusting, as if the film walked in on something that most of them weren’t expecting to see.
Then again, the key to a good sex scene comes from the actors involved, and some pairings have zero chemistry working together onscreen. Although some of them might have been great at their job and may have even been intimate with each other offscreen, none of that translated into the film, especially when they try to put some of their own personal touches to the whole thing.
The idea of sexual intimacy in film definitely has its place, but the dirtiness on the screen starts to become hard to watch the longer that the scenes play out. Although the practice is far from a bad thing, some of the scenes presented here are enough to make viewers want to reclaim their chastity belts.
The 10 most awkward movie sex scenes:
American Pie (Paul Weitz, Chris Weitz, 1999)
There’s a good chance that most 2000s kids got to know about the beginnings of sex through American Pie. From Stifler’s mom to mentioning doing something dirty at band camp, there are so many quotable lines from the film having to do with wanting a bit of carnal knowledge. Every kid in this movie might be experimenting with different methods of intercourse, but Jason Biggs did some truly unspeakable things to an actual pie.
After coming home from school after hearing about the feeling of sex being compared to apple pie, Jim Levinstein wastes no time when he sees a freshly made pie on the kitchen counter. With his pants around his ankles, Levinstein begins to penetrate the pie before seeing the one person that no one wants to see in moments like this: his father.
Attempting to gather himself, the most cathartic part of the scene comes at the very end, where Eugene Levy’s Noah Levinstein does his best to calm his son’s nerves by telling him to lie about eating the entire pie when his mother asks. The scene might be equal parts hilarious once the dad walks into the room, but the aftermath of it all will make everyone watching discover the wonders of cake instead of pie.
Bride of Chucky (Ronny Yu, 1998)
If there would be one way to describe the Chuck franchise, it would be ‘cute’. Although what the doll does is absolutely terrifying, seeing a childhood doll go on a rampage like this is the kind of horrific fun that the ‘80s were made of. So naturally, that means that the directors needed to make the next phase of the ‘Chucky’ character sexy for the next instalment.
Although Bride of Chucky is far from a perfect movie outside of these few minutes, the fact that they made an intimate scene between two dolls feels unnatural on so many different levels. It’s easy to just dismiss this monstrosity and move on, but the real unwatchable parts come from the dirty talk that both of them get into before getting down to business.
Despite the “dad-tastic” puns that are on display, every one of them seems to ensure the audience won’t sleep well that night, from Chucky talking about how he feels Pinocchio because of his…appendage to the plumbing that needs fixing. Even if this were taking place between two humans, it still wouldn’t because of the terrible writing, as if going over the top was the only way the writers knew how to translate this. While the intimacy of this scene might not work at the best of times, seeing those cold dead eyes and felt should be adopted by any of those safe sex seminars in schools everywhere.
Dogtooth (Yorgos Lanthimos, 2009)
As the most prominent figure of the Greek Weird Wave, Yorgos Lanthimos has repeatedly created truly unique cinematic visions that have deeply impacted the landscape of contemporary cinema. One of his most striking films is the 2009 work Dogtooth, revolving around a strangely abusive family who have completely blocked out the external world from the lives of their children.
In addition to a fascinating commentary on totalitarian societies, Dogtooth also has some of the most awkward sex scenes of all time. According to a bizarre arrangement, the patriarch of the family pays a female employee of his to fulfil the sexual requirements of his son. Since the children have been sheltered from all normative expressions of affection, their ideas of sexual intimacy are purely jarring.
Lanthimos explained: “It was just an idea. I was wondering about the future of families, and if it’s something that should be like it is or maybe in the future they’d be extinct or there would be no need for families anymore. Then I was joking with friends that were having families and having children that maybe it will end and it won’t be like they know it, and I saw them getting really upset about it, and really defensive and serious. So that gave me the idea of these parents that, if something like that was about to happen or if they felt the danger of something like that happening, to what extremes would they go to protect that. That’s how the story came about.”
Demolition Man (Marco Brambilla, 1993)
Before getting into the scene, Demolition Man actually had a fairly decent premise at the start. While it’s easy to chalk up Sylvester Stallone movies to the standard tropes of all ‘80s action films, the idea to put his hard-headed cop in the future year of 2032 invited many interesting scenarios, including some problems about the future that they guessed correctly over three decades ago. Not everything adds up properly, and for every comment on the advancement of technology, there’s something like this scene.
In this dystopian future, sex is completely artificial, including wearing different helmets to stimulate the sense of reaching an orgasm. While Sandra Bullock’s character is probably used to this kind of practice, Stallone is in the same boat as the audience, being completely freaked out throughout the entire experience until finally throwing down the helmet in disgust towards the end of the scene.
Compared to what’s happening with VR recently, this might be one of the predictions of Demolition Man that should never come to pass. It might be easy to get something dirty through a computer these days, but if humanity isn’t careful, there’s a good chance that this is where we might be headed in the next few decades.
Gigli (Martin Brest, 2003)
It feels like everyone involved with Gigli wants to collectively forget about anything related to it. Despite Ben Affleck and J-Lo having someone insane paparazzi photos from around the time, the passion project that they made turned into one of the biggest bombs of all time, with both of them turning in wooden performances opposite each other. The movie might be hard to sit through, but seeing them engage in foreplay on a bed is the epitome of the word ‘cringe’.
This kind of scene should be a slam dunk in theory, but the vibe is killed almost immediately when J-Lo compares her lady parts to a turkey, complete with gobbling noises. No matter how unsexy that sounds on paper, Affleck’s reaction to the whole thing might be even worse, not able to muster anything other than subtle bemusement at the fact that Jennifer Lopez is right next to him.
‘Bennifer’ may have been the hot power couple at the time, but no amount of star power is enough to carry a film, especially if it means having this as their idea of foreplay banter. Not every sex scene can be a winner from back to front, but it almost takes talent to make a power couple of this calibre absolutely unwatchable.
Howard the Duck (Willard Huyck, 1986)
Across thousands of lists of the most unwatchable movies ever made, Howard the Duck always ranks fairly high. Despite being one of the highlighted inside jokes in the Guardians of the Galaxy franchise, seeing this too-cool-for-school duck become a part of a band in this ‘80s flick makes for some of the most unintentionally hilarious moments ever put to screen. Though Howard might have been an impressive duck at the time, his luck with the ladies is a crime against most people’s retinas.
Throughout the film, there is some romantic tension going on between Howard and Lea Thompson’s Beverly Switzler is disturbing from the moment it starts happening. Although Thompson is working with what she’s got, seeing intimacy being drawn out of a puppet that looks like it was pulled out of Disney’s rejects is not something that anyone should have to see.
While the scene does get interrupted a few times, those few minutes without the foreplay almost feel like an act of mercy, as if director William Huyck thought it would be going too far to see a grown woman having her way with a puppet. Some sex scenes might make fans question what they’re seeing, but a movie has to have jumped the shark more than a few times when beastiality is one of the small complaints about the scene.
The Room (Tommy Wiseau, 2003)
The entire legacy of Tommy Wiseau’s The Room has taken on a fascinating trajectory. For years fans have been calling it one of the biggest disgraces in cinema until it flipped back around into being “so bad it’s good” because of how incompetent most of the acting. And if Wiseau was already wooden and lifeless trying to play a regular person, what he does in the bedroom doesn’t feel human.
Throughout the film, Johnny and Lisa’s tense relationship always culminates in a few intimate moments, and every one of them is more disturbing than the last. From the start of the first one, it’s as if Wiseau isn’t that confident that he knows how to film intercourse, so what it ends up looking like is a man having sex with the actress’ belly button.
As if Wiseau’s own performance isn’t already five different flavours of weird, one of the scenes is derailed when Denny comes into the equation. He doesn’t want to have sex, but he just remarks that he loves watching them, which both of them laugh off as if nothing happened. No matter how much he might claim to love his “future wife”, this is the ultimate example of how not to shoot an intimate moment.
Whilst the whole scene can be found on YouTube, take a look at this equally awkward sexual encounter from The Room below.
Splice (Vincenzo Natali, 2009)
There’s no real limit to where a writer can go when telling a story. Throughout every romantic moment, the director should be focusing on telling the story through the motions of the characters rather than making an impromptu porno film. In the case of something like Splice, the attention to intimacy got a little bit strange when taking into account the people involved.
As opposed to the standard human-on-human intercourse, seeing a man getting intimate with a hybrid of a woman and half goat is the stuff of nightmares. Adrien Brody’s Clive might have been drawn to women with long legs, and seeing his creation like this might not seem out of the question for him, but it has more to do with the circumstances surrounding this whole sequence of events.
Prior to this, Clive had been a scientist who had tested out whether he could create this kind of human-goat hybrid, and is now making the conscious choice to have sex with his own creation. Since the whole thing has a relationship that seems meant for a father and stepchild, there are about fifteen more levels of weird. The man-on-goat action might have already been strange, but the fact that there are layers to this in the story is enough to desire a cleansing of one’s eyes.
The disturbing moment can be found online, but you can check out the trailer below.
Team America: World Police (Trey Parker, 2004)
There is no one who comes to one of the Team America movies for a sultry time. Even in its satire, none of the dirty stuff that is talked about in the film is ever talked about in serious tones for a second. There is an intimacy scene, though, and it goes over about as well as one can imagine a scene between two puppets.
Despite being played solely for gags, the amount of time that they hang on two puppets getting it on with each other is pure cringe from beginning to end, and most people take the time to look at their watch and wait for it to end. As if the regular act of intercourse wasn’t enough, the rest of the sequence comes with different Kama Sutra positions, as if someone with a certain fetish felt needed to get down on tape.
Granted, it does do what it’s designed to do in the film, making one of the most awkward laughs to ever erupt in a theatre in a long time. The name of the game might be comedy here, but the only reason most of the audience is to keep themselves from crying at how many scars they have on their heart after watching this.
Watchmen (Zack Snyder, 2009)
In the grand scheme of comic book movies, Watchmen has held a very strange legacy. Although the original Alan Moore novel may be considered one of the greatest dissections of the superhero genre, the gratuitous violence in the film led to some fans questioning what tone Zack Snyder was aiming for with his adaptation. If the violence was already questionable, the sex scene is on another level.
After detailing the on-again, off-again relationship between Nite Owl and Silk Spectre, he suddenly gets hot and ready once they are done dealing with a bunch of thugs on the street. Despite the already-gross implications of having to fight crime to get turned on, the scene that follows it is not much better, including one of the single worst covers of Leonard Cohen’s ‘Hallelujah’ ever put to film.
The camera is also lingering for far too long on certain things, including a long stare at Patrick Wilson’s ass as he tries desperately to get intimate in this scene. Little do they both know that the ship where they are banging is still operating, which results in one of the cheapest jokes towards the end of the scene, as Nite Owl accidentally emits fire from the ship. Given how the movie ends, this is definitely the kind of hot encounter that could trigger the apocalypse, and there’s a good chance that Mr Cohen rolls over in his grave any time this scene plays now.
