The 10 best songs written about exes
There are most likely more love songs written than any other topic on Earth. As much as some artists like Bob Dylan like to talk about more serious fare like politics and the state of the world, it’s hard to go wrong when writing a song about how much an artist loves someone. When artists wrote songs to their exes, artists like Fleetwood Mac had a bit of a different agenda.
Although some of the songs below might have had a romantic undercurrent in the beginning stages, each went south fairly quickly in real life, with the artist left hung out to dry or with their heart on the floor. Instead of rehashing things with words, musicians like Bob Dylan, George Harrison and Billie Joe Armstrong put their feelings into song, aiming their next tunes squarely at their former partners.
Then again, do all songs about exes have to be a non-stop roast from back to front? Absolutely not. For all of the angry songs on our list, a handful still wishes their former partner peace when they leave. Even if they have decided to continue without the singer in question, it’s nice to know they will have some emotional solace somewhere else.
Every stage of emotion that comes with leaving an ex behind, from the raw nerves and heartache to the bitter acceptance of knowing that it’s finally over, can be heard in the notes below. Writing a song about your ex might never be easy, but it’s better to leave that emotion in the music instead of carrying it with you.
10 best songs written about exes
‘Snuff’ – Slipknot
The common misconception about Slipknot among metal fans is their inability to be earnest in their songs. As much as acts like Black Sabbath may have talked about the horrors of the world, there weren’t too many love songs that were made outside of power ballads, which often veered on the wrong side of cheesy. For a band like Slipknot, though, Corey Taylor was looking to go deeper than just a power ballad on ‘Snuff’.
Inspired by a woman that he had been involved with years before, Taylor had originally wanted to make romantic advancements towards her but got let down. After drifting apart, Taylor wrote this heartbroken lament about how she refused to fight her toxic tendencies and him trying to come to terms with her life choices. Despite being a sad breakup song, the song took on a different meaning in the months after the album’s release.
Shortly after the tour for All Hope is Gone, bassist Paul Gray was found dead in a hotel room of an apparent overdose. Now whenever Taylor plays it live, he dedicates the acoustic version to his old friend, often getting emotional during the lines about never knowing if he still cares about him. There’s a tortured spirit in most of Slipknot’s music, but peeling back the layers shows the broken heart underneath that anger.
‘Monkey Wrench’ – Foo Fighters
The Foo Fighters have always been synonymous with good times in rock and roll. While Dave Grohl had tried to soldier on after Kurt Cobain’s death, the group’s overnight success brought a whole different layer of expectations. Add to that a marriage breakup on the horizon, and Grohl had the perfect recipe to write a nervy breakup song.
As opposed to the usual broken-hearted song, ‘Monkey Wrench’ is a good time from back to front, as if Grohl wrote this as a way to cheer himself up. When looking at the lyrics, this is actually one big kiss-off to his ex, talking about he does want to be used as a means to an end and seeing his friends quickly turn to enemies when he’s in her presence.
While Grohl is belting throughout most of the tune, the most true-to-life moment comes in the screaming breakdown on the bridge. The listener is put in the middle of the argument here as Grohl seethes with anger and finally enjoys not being locked in a cage anymore. Most of the best post-grunge songs were about breaking free from people keeping artists down, but not many were as salty as Grohl was on this tune.
‘So Sad’ – George Harrison
For the first few years after The Beatles’ breakup, George Harrison was fast becoming the group’s breakout star. After spending time building up his repertoire, hits like ‘My Sweet Lord’ solidified him as just as good a songwriter as John Lennon and Paul McCartney. The money might have been rolling in, but behind the scenes, Harrison’s personal life was about to become a rock and roll soap opera.
Just before making Dark Horse, Harrison was getting ready to divorce his wife Patty Boyd, who was already having an affair with Eric Clapton. While Boyd had served as Harrison’s muse throughout The Beatles’ tenure, ‘So Sad’ is the bitter aftermath of the breakup, as Harrison gets more candid than most people would have been willing to go after being hung out to dry.
However, this breakup song is only a small helping of what Dark Horse had to offer, with Harrison talking about the affairs that he saw around him on ‘Simply Shady’ and even calling out his old buddy Clapton by name on his cover of The Everly Brothers’ ‘Bye Bye Love’. The commercial success of ‘The Quiet Beatle’ may have been booming, but the drama laced throughout this tune could give Days of Our Lives a run for its money.
‘Good Riddance’ – Green Day
The punk rock rulebook should practically have a ‘no ballads’ law trademarked on it. As much as punks might have heart behind their songs, there was no way a group like The Sex Pistols were going to make a soppy ballad unless it was purely for a piss-take. After years of carrying around heartache, Billie Joe Armstrong couldn’t get his first big breakup off his mind when combing through material for Nimrod.
Though ‘Good Riddance’ is famously remembered as the one song everyone has played at their graduation, the tune originated as a song about Armstrong’s old flame named Amanda, who grew up in the same punk underground he did. After drifting apart, Armstrong wrote this song as a bitter goodbye, sounding like he’s gritting through his teeth as he talks about moving on from being given the runaround.
Despite the song being written around the time of Dookie, the band didn’t feel comfortable recording it until Nimrod, by which time they had gotten far more eclectic with their influences, ranging from swing tunes to borderline alternative rock moments. Amanda would eventually pop up in other tunes in Green Day’s catalogue, being the inspiration for ‘Whatsername’ in the storyline of American Idiot. No matter what damage this woman did to Armstrong, it’s been toying with the rock scene’s emotions for decades to come as well.
‘You Oughta Know’ – Alanis Morissette
When writing songs about one’s ex, it’s never easy to beat around the bush too much. As much as they might want to reel things back and talk about the good times they had, some of the best breakup songs are ones that lash out in anger, as if the listener can feel the singer coming out of the speakers. Alanis Morrissette may have been the more collected version of a riot grrl singer, but ‘You Oughta Know’ held nothing back when taking Dave Coulier to task.
Yes, that’s right. Morrissette’s kiss-off song was actually referring to ‘Uncle Joey’ from Full House, inspired by a spell when they were dating. Although Coulier has steered clear of the topic most of the time, Morrissette isn’t letting him off the hook for a second in this song, talking about how quickly she was replaced and wondering if he still thinks of her when she’s intimate with anyone else.
This is more than just petty revenge, too. When the last verse hits, Morrissette is leaving Coulier off with a warning, saying that she’s not going to fade when he closes his eyes and reminding him that she will think of him every time she scratches her nails down someone else’s back. The world may never know just how bad it got between Coulier and Morrissette, but Uncle Joey must have royally screwed up if it meant getting his ass handed to him like this.
‘Love of My Life’ – Queen
It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to realise that Freddie Mercury blurred the lines of his sexuality quite often. Although he may have been one of the first major LGBTQIA+ figures in the music industry, Mercury was incredibly secretive about it and would never actually come out to the public for most of his life. While Mercury spent most of his days with his partner Jim Hutton, the real love of his life was always with Mary Austin.
While Austin knew of Mercury’s sexuality fairly early, she was often seen in public circles as his girlfriend. Even after they broke up, this tender love ballad of losing the love of his life is Mercury at his most sincere, being absolutely crushed knowing that their relationship would have never lasted. Though Mercury has the emotion to sell the tune, the rest of the band responds in kind, as Brian May brings an heir of sophistication with his guitar, almost making it sound like a bowed instrument.
Though Mercury would never get back together with Austin, he would always keep in close contact with her and would eventually leave most of his estate to her after he passed away. It might not have been anyone’s fault that Mercury and Austin grew apart, but this is a touching farewell to what could have been if things had been different.
‘Talk Tonight’ – Oasis
There was a good chance Oasis could have broken up before they even got started. Though the band were gaining momentum from the success of Definitely Maybe, their tour of the US was a disaster, including an infamous gig at the Whiskey A-Go-Go when half the group played while high on crystal meth. By the time they got offstage, Noel wanted nothing to do with his mates and fled to San Francisco, where he met up with his old flame, Melissa Lim.
While Noel has said little about his relationship with Lim, he was ready to break up Oasis when he saw her again, not wanting to go on the rock and roll rollercoaster one more time. After getting to know each other, Lim convinced Noel that he would be making a grave mistake if he decided to leave, urging him to give it another go with his old mates.
Living the touring lifestyle wasn’t for her, though, and Lim opted to stay in San Francisco while Noel realised his musical vision. As a sort of ‘thank you’, Noel wrote ‘Talk Tonight’ as a tribute to his old flame, thanking her for all the time that she spent with him in San Francisco and crediting her with saving his life. Noel might have been the no-nonsense leader of the band, but this is one of the few tunes where the sensitive side of him creeps in ever so slightly.
‘Don’t Cry’ – Guns N’ Roses
In the world of hair metal, ballads can often verge on the wrong side of cheesy. As much as acts like Van Halen might have been able to pull them off, there were always ten other bands that sounded like amateurs trying to throw together a bunch of chords and make an intimate love song. Guns N’ Roses were always a different breed than other hair metal acts, and Axl Rose was coming from a place of genuine pain when writing ‘Don’t Cry’.
The writing of this tune actually dates back to before Appetite for Destruction, when Rose became infatuated with a girl that Izzy Stradlin had been dating. Although Stradlin had cut things off with her, she didn’t connect with Rose, which resulted in him pouring his feelings into this song. After picking up the pieces of his heart, Rose uses this song to console his lover, saying that everything will be alright as long as she knows there’s a heaven above her.
Apparently, one song just wasn’t enough for Rose’s heartache. When the song was released on the Use Your Illusion albums, there was a completely separate take with alternate lyrics that continue with the story, both wishing her peace while feeling like the world was crumbling in her hands. Most people can get a decent breakup song down in about four minutes, but whatever Rose was going through required multiple songs to get it all down on paper.
‘Tangled Up in Blue’ – Bob Dylan
Bob Dylan has always been fairly cryptic about his lyrics. Despite writing some of the best standalone songs of the ‘60s, Dylan was always a bit cagey about what his tunes were about, often toying with reporters who wanted to know the inner meanings of his technique and what certain characters in his songs were symbolising. Dylan’s lyrics have always been picked apart, but ‘Tangled Up in Blue’ lays most of his emotions on the table.
Following a bitter breakup with his wife Sara, Blood on the Tracks is all about his divorce, from heartbroken songs like ‘Buckets of Rain’ to bitter tirades like ‘Idiot Wind’. To kick off the entire project, ‘Tangled Up in Blue’ opens in a much warmer fashion, as Dylan sets the scene of the album by taking the listener on a journey through their relationship.
Each verse takes on a different episode in this relationship, from seeing her in a bar to her mentioning that they would meet again to eventually convincing himself that he needs to find her again. For all of the bitter breakup songs on this record, ‘Blue’ is about as neutral as it gets, almost as if Dylan is reporting on his breakup instead of living in the moment. It might take years to get over a breakup, but Dylan had to live in this song for a while before getting comfortable enough to commit it to tape.
‘Songbird’ – Fleetwood Mac
A list of the best songs about exes could easily be retitled ‘Every song on Fleetwood Mac’s Rumours’. From the start of production, every member of the band was going through breakups with each other, and that drama spilt out into the music more than a few times. While Stevie Nicks may have tried to break things off amicably and Lindsey Buckingham cried out in pain, Christine McVie took the more dignified approach.
After her marriage breakup with bassist John McVie, Christine had moved on and had already written a song about her new flame on ‘You Make Loving Fun’. When looking back on her time with John, ‘Songbird’ is a sweet plea for some emotional peace, as Christine talks about not crying for him anymore and wanting to live a life that revolved around their turbulent marriage.
The most biting line of the song comes in the final verse, where Christine wishes John all the love in the world, but only if she can have some love in return. This marriage may have given her personal pain, but she would most likely do it all again if it meant happiness in the future. Every time Christine would sing the song, she would always live in the moment as well, often getting emotional and nixing it from the setlist because she didn’t want to cry. Then again, whenever the spotlight hit her piano during the set, there was hardly a dry eye in the crowd.
Never Miss A Tale
The Far Out Bob Dylan Newsletter
All the latest stories about Bob Dylan from the independent voice of culture.
Straight to your inbox.