Stephen King names the two “best consistently non-cool” actors in Hollywood
Stephen King is many things. He’s most certainly successful, having contributed dozens of iconic stories, moments, and characters to the world of fiction, horror or otherwise. He’s definitely prolific, churning out high-quality books at a staggering rate. Has he been controversial across his career? Absolutely. But is he cool?
Maine’s favourite son certainly has his fair share of awesome creations. Pennywise lurking in the sewers is pretty iconic, as is Andy Dufresne crawling through a different set of pipes to earn his freedom. He hasn’t always hit the mark, though. He annoyed a large portion of his audience by seemingly forgetting to write a conclusion to his book, The Colorado Kid. Some of the adaptations of his stories have been duds, like The Dark Tower or the eight hundred different ‘Children of the Corn’ movies. His sole directorial effort, Maximum Overdrive, is so unfathomably bad that even the man himself has distanced himself from it.
The great author addressed the subject of ‘cool’ head-on in a 2020 piece for Entertainment Weekly. After remarking that it is one of two adjectives in the entire English language that can’t be modified – the other being ‘unique’, apparently – he laid down his views on which famous faces are deserving of the description. Given that he’s one of (if not the) most adapted author of all-time, his gaze naturally landed on Hollywood.
“Are any actors always cool? Even in bad movies?” he pontificated. “I’d say there are at least four: Jack Nicholson, Holly Hunter, Morgan Freeman, and the late John Cassavetes. It’s worth noting that Cassavetes directed many films and none were cool.” On the other end of the scale, the author highlighted two stars to whom the word ‘cool’ doesn’t quite apply. “Best consistently noncool male actor? Tom Hanks,” he said. “Best consistently noncool female actor? Charlize Theron.”
King is well placed to discuss those last two names. Hanks famously starred in The Green Mile, an adaptation of his 1996 novel. The double Oscar winner has also admitted to being a fan of King’s work, particularly The Stand. As for Theron, her connection to writer is a little more obscure. One of her first film roles was as an uncredited extra in one of those ‘Children of the Corn’ films we were talking about earlier. Although, given how that went, she’d probably prefer we didn’t linger on it for too long.
‘Cool’ is obviously an intangible quality. If you have to talk about if someone has it or not, then they probably don’t. However, for the purposes of this argument, we sort of have to. Hanks definitely isn’t cool. He’s talented, yes, and seems pretty nice, but he doesn’t fit the usual definition of the word. As for Theron, there’s definitely a case to be made for her. She’s a certified action badass through the likes of Atomic Blonde and The Old Guard, and has more of the ‘traditional’ qualities associated with a top tier Hollywood star.
Still, as I said, this whole discussion is almost completely pointless. Cool or uncool, if you like an actor, then that’s up to you. Sorry, Stephen.
