“He’s an absolute wanker”: What pop stars had to say about Prince Andrew and the Royal Family in 1986
On the occasion of Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor’s arrest and the gradual realisation that such a thing could be possible, it’s hard not to think back 40 years to the ‘Royal Wedding’ of the man then known as Prince Andrew, and the way all of Britain joined together in harmony to celebrate the future of this promising young man…or not.
In actuality, the mid-1980s were arguably the heyday for world-class, anti-royalist banter, delivered by confident, articulate, usually northern musicians from the leading pop bands of the day. Back then, these artists were arguing more from a basis of wealth inequality and against the bread-and-circus distractions of coronations and royal weddings. Had they known the full extent of future, alleged crimes committed by some of these figures, The Smiths just might have had to stay together and make a couple more angry records.
A good snapshot of this period in time can be found in a July 1986 issue of Smash Hits, in which some of the stars of the day, or minute, were asked about their opinions on the Royal Family ahead of Andrew’s impending wedding to Sarah Ferguson. Spandau Ballet’s Gary Kemp, of all people, was quick out of the gates, looking like a sage, saying quite matter-of-factly, “I hate Andrew, he’s an absolute wanker”.
Motörhead’s Lemmy Kilmister was a tad more disappointing with his critique, using the opportunity as a chance to lazily comment on Sarah’s appearance, saying that while he doesn’t want to put down the Royal Family, “But I’m sure Andy could have done better than that”. Others, however, were more than happy to hop on their proverbial soapboxes and let their socially conscious grievances fly.
The Pet Shop Boys’ Neil Tennant claimed that the family represented all that is wrong with Britain, adding, “They sit on top of the whole pile of class consciousness, snobbery, and supposed ‘tradition’ that really holds Britain back. I really think they’re a very, very bad influence on British life.”
Hugh Whittaker of the Housemartins chimed in with a litany of accusations that sadly don’t sound any different in 2026 than they would have then. “While there are waiting lists on the NHS, people without jobs, people permanently on low wages, and people suffering directly from imperialism,” he said, “We find it impossibly hypocritical to support a group of people who pay no bills, who wait in no queues, and who, apparently, live lives of privilege in direct contrast to ordinary members of society. If Buckingham Palace was set on fire, there wouldn’t be many tears shed on our part.” A big fire did break out at Windsor Castle six years later, but we have no confirmation on how the Housemartins reacted. In fact, half of them had formed the Beautiful South by that point.
Of course, the reliable and quippy young version of Morrissey was as happy to share his thoughts, saying that “the writers and designers of Spitting Image [the satirical comedy programme featuring grotesque puppets of famous political figures] should be unmercifully sued for making the Royal Family seem generally more attractive and intelligent than they actually are.”
Lest it seem like every musician on the UK charts in 1986 was viciously anti-Royalist, there were actually quite a few old romantics still lining up to defend the status quo, including Status Quo’s own Rick Parfitt, who said, “I’ve got nothing but praise for all of them”, and good old Gary Numan, who proclaimed himself “fanatically in favour of the Royal Family, for the prestige they bring the country… People who want to get rid of the Royal Family should be shot, traitorous scum! I’ll be watching the Royal Wedding.”
Presumably, Gary will be tuning in to the trial of Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor, as well, if there is one.
