Did penne pasta force Morrissey to cancel an entire tour?
As recent history has indicated, when booking tickets to a Morrissey concert, there’s always a chance that the former frontman of The Smiths won’t be able to fulfil his obligations. Over the years, the singer has offered various explanations for cancelled performances, and undoubtedly, the strangest cause is a portion of penne pasta.
For over 30 years, Morrissey’s concerts have been regularly culled, including a co-headline tour with David Bowie. After meeting at a Sound + Vision tour date in Manchester, the two iconic musicians struck up a friendship, and they later covered each other’s work as a result. Shortly after, their creative show of respect took another forward step when Morrissey was asked to tour Europe with Bowie in 1995, but issues would arise when the former Smiths vocalist became unhappy at being billed as a “special guest”.
Perhaps unsurprisingly, after only nine dates, he quit the tour. Morrissey later recalled in one interview: “You have to worship at the temple of David when you become involved with him”. With that, in a separate interview, he said that Bowie “is no longer David Bowie at all. Now he gives people what he thinks will make them happy, and they’re yawning their heads off. And by doing that, he is not relevant. He was only relevant by accident.”
While his decision to leave the tour early disappointed his fans, most will have understood his decision. Other times, his reasoning has been more dubious and vague. Take the 2018 UK and EU tour as an example. Morrissey postponed nine dates in the UK and throughout Europe but never truly explained why. “Due to logistical circumstances beyond our control. The UK/European Morrissey concerts scheduled for July will be postponed,” the musician’s management wrote.
In fairness to Morrissey, perhaps his team decided against explaining the reason because he’d previously gone into too much detail and left very little to the reader’s imagination. In 2013, Morrissey was forced to cancel his remaining dates in South America, and rather than release a typical statement through a PR team, the musician told all within a blog post published through his website.
Morrissey told fans: “I can’t give words to the sorrow I feel at the loss of perfect Peru. Oh, black cloud. After such a victorious and uplifting welcome of Lima love, the contaminated jinx had its way via a simple restaurant meal of penne pasta and tomato. Three hours later, both I and security Liam have collapsed with a deadly and delirious bedridden disease. Five days of round-the-clock medical supervision just barely controls the corrosively toxic food poisoning. I know my luck too well. Sorrow replaces joy, and in every dream home a heartache. It could only be me”.
Morrissey added: “In the heat of cancellations and postponements, the humiliation and mortification I feel on a personal level is too mammoth to be measured. If my spirits climb down any lower I could never again find the dignity to stand upright. We all live at the mercy of biological chance, and although I am not one to take refuge in clichés, I repeat my very servile apologies to any and all who back-packed their way to Peru. Alas, the dark shadow made the same journey.”
Although Morrissey does have a reputation for using elaborate excuses for cancelling shows, penne pasta is simply too graphic and eccentric to be falsified.
