One of Dave Gahan’s favourite Depeche Mode songs was about him losing control: “Get your shit together”
Essex-born electronic pioneers Depeche Mode are one of the most well-loved British bands of all time. From the dark synths of ‘Enjoy the Silence’ to the catchy pop hit ‘Just Can’t Get Enough’, Depeche Mode spearheaded synth-pop into its commercial height in the 1980s alongside the likes of Soft Cell and Kraftwerk. Over the course of their career, 54 of their tracks secured places in the UK charts.
Despite their universal appeal and widespread commercial success, in the background, Depeche Mode were struggling. Finding themselves amidst the relentless party scene of the 1980s and ’90s, lead singer Dave Gahan picked up a heroin addiction which brought him close to death on more than one occasion. In 1996, he had perhaps his closest brush with death when an overdose of a mix of drugs led his heart to stop for two minutes.
After being revived by paramedics, Gahan was handcuffed, faced charges, and eventually ended up in rehab. During this time, the band were working on their ninth studio album, Ultra, which was released in 1997. Gahan shared the experience of working on the album while struggling with addiction during an interview with Q, recalling, “In the middle of making it we stopped completely, and I had to go into a treatment place to get taken care of.”
Between rehab visits and arrests, Gahan was losing control, recalling, “I also got arrested during the course of that album, busted in Los Angeles, and then I was in real trouble. That was kind of the beginning of the end of me. I was still dabbling in the idea that I could play that game and also still continue my life, but the gig was up.”
Rather than continuing on this path, Gahan found that the arrest set him back on track. While they were making the album, the Depeche Mode singer was required to prove to a judge that he was clean at regular intervals. This stability was invaluable in his recovery, as he shared: “It gave me this time to suddenly realise, ‘Oh, I can do this, I can crawl my way back, I can get better. And I do want to be here.’”
Despite the tough time it was written in, one of the tracks from Ultra became one of Gahan’s favourite Depeche Mode songs. He shared his love for the album and for its opening track, stating, “But that record is one of my favourites, ‘Barrel of a Gun’ in particular, because I think Martin was also playing with this imagery as well, sort of pointing the finger at me.”
The industrial, trip-hop-inspired track sings of a “twisted tortured mess” and a “bed of sinfulness who’s longing for some rest and feeling numb”, presumably referring to Gahan’s behaviour at the time. The singer seems to feel no animosity towards his bandmate Martin Gore for penning the track about him.
Instead, he suggests that Gore nailed his experience during this time period with his lyricism: “When I perform that song now, it really describes the way I felt at that time: This creature that was barely existing, but somehow still thought he had it going on [laughs]. Martin was spot-on with his lyrics. I mean, I don’t even know if the song was written about me, or for me, or poking at me to say ‘For fuck’s sake, get your shit together!” But it worked. I liked it.”
Whether he was prompted by his near-death experience, arrest, or Gore’s lyrics, Gahan did get his shit together, celebrating a decade of sobriety in 2011 and becoming the self-proclaimed biggest alternative band in the world.
