Hear Me Out: ‘One Missed Call’ is the worst horror remake of all time
Despite horror being arguably the most versatile, innovative and boundary-breaking genre, those who don’t see it for what it is can become blindsided by the Achilles heel of the cash-grabbing horror remake. Horror has created some brilliant and entertaining stories that scare audiences through the suspense of visual carnage; however, some studios are lazy and lack the creative drive, instead preferring to simply re-hash previous classics.
Horror fans are being forced to see the legacy of their favourite scary stories tarnished after studios remake classics with weaker vision, worse acting and limp attempts at scares. Directors of such remakes either can’t replicate the original’s creativity or give too much or nothing at all, causing audiences to re-watch the original film many times to wash out the taste of the remake.
With several re-hashes coming out every few years and ruining the original legacy, considering what is potentially the worst horror remake is a painful process. Is it one that tarnished the heritage of horror’s scariest or most outstanding contributions? Did it bore or insult audiences with a shock value slasher comprised of the dumbest teenagers put on film? Or did it make a mockery out of the once-respected supernatural sub-genre? Well, the answer is a bit of all three.
Created amidst Hollywood’s obsession with remaking Japanese horror flicks, the 2008 version of One Missed Call is directed by Eric Valette and stars the likes of Shannyn Sossamon and Edward Burns among others. Just like the original film, the remake follows the victims of mysterious phone calls who end up dead in graphic circumstances mere days after. A remake of 2003’s film of the same name, directed by Takashi Miike, who also made the gruesome Audition and Ichi the Killer, the original film stars Ko Shibasaki, Shinichi Tsutsumi and Renji Ishibashi and opens with a college student receiving a voicemail of herself screaming in pain. When talking with The Hot Corn about his opinions of what horror filmmaking can provide or look like, the director stated: “Personally, I don’t care what the genre of my movie is. Maybe some audiences will like horror movies, but then they’ll change and watch something else.”
“A horror movie can also have something in it that is funny or interesting that has nothing to do with the horror,” Miike explains, “So I don’t care what the genre is…The reason I film so many films is because I am not tied to any particular genre so I’m free to explore”.
What makes the 2008 remake such a pitiful excuse of a film, let alone a remake, is that it is somehow worse than its poor and dull original. Japanese horror filmmaking gets so much of the genre right, with classics such as Ringu and Ju-On presenting some creative and terrifying stories whilst also earning western remakes thanks to their cultural impact. However, Miike’s film poorly regurgitates the tones and approaches to his country’s horror, creating a mundane and tedious feature, making it difficult to believe this is the same director who made the terrifying Audition.
Given this context, Valette’s re-hashing of an already poor movie and delivering something even worse make 2008’s One Missed Call the worst horror remake. The film is bland from direction to performance, with its alleged scares reading as a lesson in what not to do when trying to make a ghost story. The writing is awkward and is performed as though the actors only received the script the day before, and the characters make the worst choices for each situation.
One Missed Call is undoubtedly one of the most forgettable horrors ever made, tossed aside after scathing initial reviews to never appear on the genre’s radar ever again. Making the worst horror remake that manages to make the dull original seem superior is certainly an achievement on the director’s part.
