“I’m heartsick for it”: the movie Jessica Chastain finds hard to rewatch
The world might not have seen so many of its most brilliant artists if it hadn’t been for the Juilliard School, including Miles Davis, Robin Williams and Nina Simone. The list doesn’t end there, though, and in terms of more contemporary entertainment figures, Jessica Chastain earned her stripes at the famous performing arts conservatory.
In fact, Chastain was the recipient of a scholarship set up by Robin Williams, providing an incredible full-circle story for Juilliard itself. After making her stage debut in 1998, it was an entire decade later that Chastain made her film debut in Jolene before going on to give some of the most memorable performances in modern cinema, including Interstellar, The Martian and Zero Dark Thirty.
Perhaps one of Chastain’s most unique and intense performances, though, came in her breakthrough year of 2011. In performing in Terrence Malick’s epic coming-of-age drama The Tree of Life, alongside Brat Pitt and Sean Penn, Chastain made an effort of a truly experimental yet emotional quality.
The Tree of Life saw Malick explore the meaning and origins of human life via a middle-aged man’s memories of his childhood and his family living in Texas in the 1950s. A score from Alexandre Desplat and several classical music pieces are cut alongside imagery of the beginning of the universe and the origins of humanity.
The film won the Palme d’Or at the Cannes Film Festival and earned three Academy Award nominations, including ‘Best Picture’. Chastain was blown away by her inclusion in The Tree of Life, especially so early into her film career, and in an interview with HuffPost, she once noted, “Tree of Life is one of my favourite films. I haven’t been able to watch it since it came out because it’s so emotional for me. It was the high point of my life.”
Indeed, Chastain’s character, Mrs. O’Brien, has to contend with the death of her 19-year-old and her subsequent questioning of God about why he had taken his life away. Years before, Mrs O’Brien showed herself to be the embodiment of grace and urged her sons to explore the wonder and dive into its many wonders without fear.
“I was playing a character who was the embodiment of love, so every day was just filled with so much joy,” Chastain had said of her experience playing Mrs. O’Brien. “I was meditating on expanding my heart space and living with an open heart.” Naturally, though, this kind of commitment to a character took its toll on Chastain, but it also influenced how she began to perceive the world in her own life.
“It affects you and how you treat other people,” she added. In playing a mother to three children, Chastain found a love for life and for the possibility of motherhood, something that she would be thankful to Malick for letting her explore. However, as a consequence, she also discovered that she would find it difficult to watch The Tree of Life without becoming upset by its overall beauty.
“I loved those little boys so much, and I loved Terry so much,” the actor explained. “Watching the movie and seeing Mrs. O’Brien running through the streets with those little boys, I remember how wonderful it was. I’m heartsick for it.” So, The Tree of Life is a performance that left such an impression on Chastain that she can’t bring herself to watch it back in full.
