Michael Keaton’s disastrous stint as Cher’s opening act: “It was death”
To most people, Michael Keaton is either Batman or Beetlejuice. These two iconic roles loom large over the career of a man who is equally comfortable in superhero movies, serious dramas, and wacky comedies. However, while many people will know Keaton has comedy chops, they mightn’t know that he had a brief career as a stand-up comedian in his early days of trying to make it as an actor in LA. At one point, he even opened for Cher – and experienced his material absolutely dying in front of a crowd for the first time ever.
In 2021, Keaton sat down with The New York Times for a career-spanning interview and was asked about an off-hand remark he made in another interview about bombing as a stand-up comic in Las Vegas. Keaton was more than happy to tell the full story, which he revealed wasn’t just a sad tale of a young comedian experiencing the horrifying feeling of a packed audience not laughing at his jokes. Instead, it was a horrifying tale of a concert crowd who had paid to see Cher not laughing at his jokes.
Keaton explained that in the early 1980s, Cher was trying to change her musical image. She wanted to be a rock star and so began releasing music with a harder edge. Keaton believed that she also wanted to be more hip and current regarding the support acts for her gigs, which involved looking at comedians instead of musicians. She was shown some of Keaton’s stand-up acts, and said, “He’s funny. Let’s take him.” Before he knew it, Keaton was opening for a musical icon in Vegas.
When Keaton got to Sin City and saw the type of comedian whose names were on the marquees at the time, he knew he was in trouble. He hadn’t been doing comedy very long at that point, so he didn’t have a lot of material – and what he did have was very absurd, off-the-wall, and conceptual. If you want to get a taste of Keaton’s comedy style, watch his classic Bazooka Joe bit on Late Night with David Letterman in 1982. It’s hilarious and weird, but the existential crisis of a bubble gum wrapper comic strip character wasn’t likely to go over well in front of Cher’s audience.
Instead of panicking about his material, though, Keaton put his faith in it. He said, “I’m kind of scared, but I pretty much know this material works. It doesn’t bomb. It just doesn’t. It’s not like people were writhing on the floor with laughter ever, but I go, ‘No, this works.'” He also figured it was unlikely that Cher was going to want her support act to take up too much time, either, so he’d probably be fine. Then she revealed how long she wanted his set to be, and with a sinking feeling, he exclaimed, “I don’t have this.”
By the time Keaton found himself on stage, dwarfed by the 40-foot-high curtains behind him, he realised most people in the building were barely even looking at him. He chuckled, “They’re there to see Cher. They’re still eating, all you hear is silverware and people mumbling things like, ‘Hey, I didn’t order Thousand Island.’ You’re up there, and they go, ‘Who is this kid? Why is he bothering us?'”
Stand-ups often have to deal with disinterested crowds, though. Keaton knew he just needed to get them onside with a great opening gag. Unfortunately, he revealed, “I remember starting with some kind of architecture-related joke.”
Naturally, the reaction to Keaton’s architectural humour was crickets. Nobody laughed; not even for a second. The Spotlight star confessed, “It was death, and I had never experienced death. I remember sweat literally running down my back.” In later years, Keaton was able to see the funny side of bombing so completely when he was handed his biggest career opportunity up to that point. He even admits that the architecture joke was bad, so he’s not surprised it died. However, he concluded by quipping, “So anyway, that was traumatic. I always felt like I disappointed Cher. She’s great, though.”
