Marilyn Monroe’s insecurity in giving the audience their money’s worth: “I really have to struggle”
In front of the cameras, Marilyn Monroe was one of the most effervescent personalities the ‘Golden Age’ of Hollywood had at its disposal. She could light up a room just by walking into it, and her star power illuminated cinemas worldwide, where audiences couldn’t get enough of the industry’s marquee blonde bombshell.
Of course, that was only one side of her personality, and away from the glitz and glamour of Tinseltown, she was Norma Jeane Mortenson, a woman who faced constant battles against her self-doubts, insecurities and anxieties, all of which were kept largely hidden from the public eye.
In hindsight, it’s a horrendous tightrope for anyone to walk, with Monroe constantly placed in the middle of a war of attrition too few outside of her inner circle were even aware of. The icon struggled with her mental health throughout her life and career, but she was so famous that she’d be lucky to get even a moment to herself without the press and paparazzi trying to intrude on every aspect of her existence.
No other actor in the business was objectified to the same extent as she was, but because that smouldering persona was what brought her such fame and fortune, Monroe felt obligated to live up to it in a public and professional setting, a dangerous double-edged sword that had severe ramifications.
In one of her final interviews, published less than two weeks after her death at the age of 36 in August 1962, Monroe outlined the duality responsible for her highest highs and lowest lows, explaining to Richard Merryman that even when she didn’t want to, she felt it was her duty to ensure the people got exactly what they paid to see.
“I’ve always felt towards the slightest scene, even if all I had to do in a scene was just to come in and say, ‘Hi’, that the people ought to get their money’s worth and that this is an obligation of mine, to give them the best you can get from me,” she said. “I do have feelings some days when there are scenes with a lot of responsibility towards the meaning, and I’ll wish, ‘Gee, if only I had been a cleaning woman.'”
She was one of the most famous people on the planet, but Monroe would occasionally catch a glimpse of somebody cleaning on her way to the studio and think to herself, “That’s what I’d like to be; that’s my ambition in life.” Still, in Hollywood, the show must go on, and on it went even when things were far from rosy behind closed doors.
“A struggle with shyness is in every actor more than anyone can imagine. There is a censor inside us that says to what degree we let go, like a child playing. I guess people think we just go out there, and, you know, that’s all we do; just do it,” she continued. “But it’s a real struggle. I’m one of the world’s most self-conscious people. I really have to struggle.”
The audience had certain expectations that bordered on entitlement of what to expect from Monroe onscreen, and it was something she went out of her way to try and give them, regardless of what her mindset was at the time.
