Lyrically Speaking: How Roky Erickson navigated schizophrenic paranoia in ‘If You Have Ghosts’
“I’ve never seen anything like it, before or since,” Record producer Bill Bentley wrote in 1970 after catching Roky Erickson-fronted band The Elevators at a grimy Houston nightclub. “Songs would begin with a small sonic boom…by the chorus, everyone in the audience was hanging on each syllable and chord”. Even before embarking on pure rock ‘n’ roll notoriety-infused brilliance, Erickson was clearly born to be a frontman.
Erickson became known as the rock icon who lost his mind, a shattered persona under the assault of substance abuse. An undiagnosed schizophrenic, the latter years of Erickson’s life were primarily marked by uncontrolled mental illness alongside suffering the aftermath of drug and alcohol use. A youthful music lover when he joined The Elevators, Erickson became almost unrecognisable in his later years, whose stage presence became less calculated and more unintentionally chaotic.
That said, though worn-down and poorly kept, his creativity and pioneering qualities never left him. “Roky Erickson shattered all conventions for what Texas rock ‘n’ rollers could be,” Bentley said shortly after Erickson’s death in 2019. “Roky ran into a buzzsaw of legal problems, and then sank into a mental swamp that almost took him under. But the man was a fighter. He stayed that way for the next 50 years, creating his own genre of music based on the idea of pure love crossed with fantastical creations. That’s because, in his own unique mind, he was fearless.”
Although his most famous songs were ones like ‘Don’t Slander Me’, ‘Two Headed Dog (Red Temple Prayer)’ and ‘I Walked With a Zombie’, ‘If You Have Ghosts’ has emerged in recent years as a somewhat unsuspecting hidden gem. Written for his 1981 debut album with The Aliens, The Evil One, ‘If You Have Ghosts’ has become one of psychedelic rock’s most defining, albeit notably cult, tracks.
Upon first listening, a lot of the song’s lyrics seem poetic, the kind that could become potentially tattooed words. “The moon to the left is a part of my thoughts,” Erickson sings, his voice seeming urgent as he appears to rush through the words like his life depends on them. Although he insists, “I am real”, a closer delve into these peculiar lyrics reveals more about Erickson’s mentality at the time than perhaps intended.
From the first lyric, Erickson introduces what comes to be the song’s entire mantra: “If you have ghosts, you have everything”. This seems a rather unconventional outlook in today’s landscape, especially considering the haunting implications of having nothing but unwanted memories in your company. However, there’s something strangely comforting about the idea of sitting with your demons and accepting their presence as your own.
Or perhaps Erickson is alluding to the beauty of hitting rock bottom. If you sit with your deepest, darkest thoughts and experiences, you can say and do anything you want because nothing matters. This becomes clear throughout the following lines: “You can say anything you want / And you can do anything you want to do / If you have ghosts you have everything.”
Although the words appear convoluted, speculatively on account of Erickson’s own schizophrenic tendencies, they speak volumes about his own relationship with his most negative characteristics. Some of these meanings are difficult to decipher, but it ultimately comes across as an authentic, raw navigation of unfiltered thoughts: “One never does that one never does that /You can call it surprise, there it is /And a part of it is me one never does that.”
Erickson sings about having everything he needs despite being aware of his inner darkness. He sits in his own company at night, lamenting this very idea: “In the night, I am real / In the night, I am real / The moon to the left is a part of my thoughts / And a part of me is me, forever is the wind / In the night, I am real.”
He knows he has potential evil inside of him, but he has control over it: he doesn’t want his “fangs too long”, but he is real all the same. The moon and the wind are an integral part of him, particularly at night, but he’s content with existing without too many attachments to these specific parts.
Many fans have deliberated over the years about the song’s true meaning. Some say it’s an exploration of evaluating feelings before coming to terms with them, while others state that it’s more specific, whether in Erickson’s depiction of schizophrenic thinking or an allusion to hiding insecurities after a bad experience. Overall, the song’s impact remains locked in Erickson’s ability to exude lyrical brilliance even during times of mental turmoil.
Ultimately, Erickson becomes aware of his inability to separate reality from delusion, but it’s unimportant because he’s real, safe in the knowledge that “if you have ghosts, you have everything”.
