When Judi Dench lowered herself to Danny Dyer’s level for the sake of £600 at the box office
If two British actors could be described as the living embodiment of polar opposites, then it’s hard to look past Judi Dench and Danny Dyer as the nation’s prime examples.
In one corner sits a living legend of film, television, and the stage, regarded as one of the all-time greats by just about anybody who’s ever seen a movie, TV series, or play she’s performed in. They don’t come much more vaunted than Dench, who boasts a laundry list of accolades that Dyer could only dream of.
She’s won an Academy Award from eight nominations, has no less than ten Bafta victories from a whopping 27 nods, she’s been shortlisted for four Primetime Emmys, and claimed a pair of Golden Globes from a dozen nominations, not to mention two Screen Actors Guild Awards, seven Olivier Awards, and two Tonys.
In the other dwells Dyer, who’s enjoyed a remarkably lengthy career despite doing nothing but playing himself. He’s never even made a movie or series outside of the United Kingdom. Is it because he doesn’t want to, or nobody’s ever asked? It remains up for debate, but he does at least have two gongs from the National Television Awards for his recurring role in EastEnders, so there’s that.
Admittedly, Dench has been in some terrible films, but how on earth did she end up in the same ensemble as Dyer? The answer was to benefit a good cause, making it slightly more palatable. 2012’s Run for Your Wife enlisted Dench, Ray Winstone, Cliff Richard, Pat Sharp, Les Dennis, and dozens more random British celebrities for cameo appearances, all of whom went uncredited and waived their fees to donate the money to a theatrical charity.
Ray Cooney scripted and co-directed the feature-length adaptation of his play of the same name and might have been left wishing that he hadn’t. Instantly hung out to dry by critics, Run for Your Wife was tarred as not just one of the worst British movies ever made but one of the worst, regardless of where it originated. It was described as the UK’s very own Movie 43, which isn’t a comparison anybody wants to invoke.
Audiences were just as apathetic after the farce revolving around Dyer’s bigamist cabbie trying to keep both of his marriages secret from each spouse landed with a bleakly hilarious and altogether embarrassing thud at the box office. In its opening weekend, Run for Your Wife rang up just £602 in ticket sales, which was roughly £600 more than it deserved.
It’s the single worst-reviewed film or television production Dench has ever been a part of, and considering that her screen debut came in 1959, it might be fair to point the biggest finger of blame in Dyer’s direction.
