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(Credit: Andrew Smith)


Jimmy Page’s war with Robbie Williams


It was weird enough when Jimmy Page and David Bowie were trapped in some sort of occultist war of paranoias whereby Bowie began storing his own urine so that the becloaked Page couldn’t use it as a curse against him. Now, that Page is warring with none other than Robbie Williams, the tale seems to have taken a surrealist celebrity turn that not even Alister Crowley himself could’ve seen it coming!

The battle began between the former boyband star and the ‘Lord of Riffs’ after Robbie Williams lodged planning permission to build a basement in his £17million West London home. Page, fearing that the vibrations would impact the foundations of his neighbouring Tower House in Holland Park, rejected the proposal. Thereafter, some sort of Will Ferrell movie feud has ensued between the two minted musicians. 

Recently, Williams made his feelings known on the matter in truly covert style after Estate Agent pictures of another home he owns in Wiltshire went up for sale and revealed a poster of Williams and Page together with the block letter caption, “Let Me Evacuate You” punning on his landmark song, ‘Let Me Entertain’ you. It was later revealed by the artist behind the piece, Fussy Human, that the poster was originally erected somewhere in the neighbourhood surrounding their neighbouring properties. 

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Page has lived in his Tower House since 1972, and when Williams swanned in and wreaked havoc in 2013, Page has been determined to put his foot down, if only for the sake of his precious mosaics. However, Williams shot back that Page’s protective behaviour was akin to a man with “mental illness”. He quickly redacted these comments when the public frowned upon them. 

Soon after, Page collected a £4670 fine from Williams after his builders breached noise regulations—no doubt pocket change to the rocker well used to turning his amp above 11, but it was the sense of a victory that tasted sweeter than the cash. After all, Williams had also accused Page of spying on his building workers to ensure that they weren’t sneakily building the ‘Angels’ singer his subterranean lair.

Williams has also subsequently denied reports that he had been blasting out songs by Page’s former bandmate Robert Plant at all hours of the night. True or not, the hatchet seems to have been buried between the pair after Williams addressed the issue on Sirius XM in the States and simply declared that he isn’t feuding with anyone anymore, even if he deliver this peace declaration with a hint of reticence. “I think he thinks it’s going to damage his house and I can promise him it’s not,” Williams remarked. “But here’s the thing, Jimmy Page lives next door.”