Jeff Goldblum once hired an exorcist to remove a ghost from his coffee table
Having turned his eccentricities into one of his biggest selling points, there probably shouldn’t be many eyebrows raised at Jeff Goldblum accidentally purchasing a coffee table that turned out to be haunted.
For those who believe in spirits, there’s no guarantee that an otherworldly entity isn’t inhabiting any piece of furniture because it’s not the sort of thing anyone can ask the person in the shop beforehand. Technically, they could, but it would lead to some seriously bemused and concerned looks.
This being Goldblum, though, it’s not even remotely out of the ordinary. Being idiosyncratic is kind of his thing, which has seen him remain popular for decades as he continues to lean into his own self-created absurdities. On the other hand, Laura Dern is a respected dramatic actor and one of her generation’s finest, and it turned out she was equally implicit.
After co-starred together on the highest-grossing movie ever made at the time of its release, the Jurassic Park colleagues struck up a romantic relationship that lasted until 1997. Goldblum being haunted by a coffee table? Sure, that makes sense. The Academy Award-winning powerhouse of an acting dynasty? Not so much.
However, their co-habitation led to the creation of the haunted coffee table, which makes things even more curious. If the table was made specifically for Goldblum and Dern upon their request, then how did it end up haunted in the first place? The spirit world contains many mysteries, and this was one that required specialist help to overcome.
“We were together for four years, and we lived in this house,” Goldblum explained to Interview. “We had this table made, and she had this woman come, this shaman of some kind, who examined the whole house and went around and said, ‘Well, it’s mostly clean except there’s that table. Where’d you get that table. Something is not good with that table. Want me to clean it up?'”
Answering in the affirmative, the dinosaur-fleeing duo did indeed want the nefarious presence to be cleansed from the humble piece of household furniture, and all it took was for a shaman to perform an exorcism. Presumably, they also charged a convenience fee, but that’s beside the point.
“Once again, all too willing,” he said of his insistence for the cleansing to begin. “And she got under it, and we left her alone for a while, and she did something and pronounced it exorcised.” Just like that, Goldblum and Dern no longer had to worry about ghosts lurking in their tableware, thanks to the timely intervention of a professional who immediately sensed that there was something so spookily wrong with the furniture that it was far too dangerous to let it lie.
