How Joni Mitchell chose music over her muses
Joni Mitchell rose to prominence in the late 1960s as one of the leading voices in folk. Known for her introspective lyricism and musings on womanhood, romance, societal issues, and loneliness, Mitchell is one of the champions of her era, with 19 studio albums and ten Grammy Awards to her name.
When Mitchell, then Anderson, was 21, she married Chuck Mitchell, and the pair would often perform together as a duo. However, their relationship fizzled out when it became apparent that Chuck was just too condescending, with Joan Baez even saying: “You gotta drop this guy.”
The couple divorced in 1967, and Mitchell’s career began to take off. Before she had even released her debut album in 1968, Song to a Seagull, the singer-songwriter was well-known for performing in the folk scene, attracting the attention of the Byrds member David Crosby after he saw her perform in Florida’s Gaslight South club.
Mitchell and Crosby began a relationship in 1967, with the latter describing their union as “like falling into a cement mixer. She is a turbulent woman and very, very crazy.” Crosby co-produced Song to a Seagull, and the pair acted as each other’s musical muses for a short period of time, until Mitchell discovered her fellow musician was being unfaithful.
To get her revenge, Mitchell performed a new song during a house party at The Monkees’ Peter Tork’s house. In front of everyone, including Crosby, she sang her break-up song ‘That Song About The Midway’, which was far from subtle. Crosby once described the evening, saying: “She’s like, ‘I’ve got a new song,’ and we were all there, and we all said, Oh, fantastic, a new Joni song!‘ And she starts to sing it, and it’s plainly a goodbye to me. And then she sang it again in case I didn’t get it the first time – unbelievable!”
Although her relationship with one member of Crosby, Stills, Nash, & Young was unsuccessful, she quickly found herself drawn to another. Mitchell began a relationship with Graham Nash, recalling: “I had sworn my heart to Graham in a way that I didn’t think was possible for myself, and he wanted me to marry him. I’d agreed to it.”
Later, Nash described their meeting, saying: “Joni and I hit it off immediately, and I ended up in her room at the Chateau Laurier and she beguiled me with 15 or so of the most incredible songs I’d ever heard. I fell in love right there and then. She touched my heart and soul in a way that they had never been touched before.”
Their relationship lasted two years, yet it inspired many of the respective musician’s greatest songs. Inspired by Nash’s experience of Woodstock, she penned one of her biggest hits, ‘Woodstock’. Yet Mitchell brought things to an end when she sent a telegram that read: “If you hold sand too tightly in your hand, it will run through your fingers. Love, Joan.”
Mitchell realised that she prioritised artistic freedom over romantic relationships, remembering her female ancestors that were unable to pursue their creative desires because of the expectations placed on them by society. She once recalled: “I just started thinking, my grandmother was a frustrated poet and musician. She kicked the kitchen door off of the hinges on the farm. I thought about my paternal grandmother who wept for the last time in her life at 14 behind some barn because she wanted a piano and said, ‘Dry your eyes, you silly girl, you’ll never have a piano.’”
Mitchell added: “I thought, maybe I’m the one that got the gene that has to make it happen for these two women. As much as I loved and cared for Graham, I just thought, I’m gonna end up like my grandmother, kicking the door off the hinges, you know what I mean? It’s like, I better not.”
Nash still feels a deep love and respect for Mitchell despite their split. When listening to Blue, he says: “I still feel a couple of emotions that shouldn’t go together: One of them is sadness, and the other one is incredulity of how brilliant she is”.
Concluding: “All these years later there’s a part of my heart that still loves Joni Mitchell. Once you’re in love with Joni Mitchell … you’re in love with her forever.”
