Glastonbury 2025: Who is Patchwork?
With much of this year’s line-up for Glastonbury having already been announced months in advance, you’d think there would be little room to throw up many more surprises. But when the full bill and stage timings were announced on June 3rd, a curious unknown name was thrown into the mix, holding the mantle in a pretty seismic slot on June 28th’s Pyramid Stage: Patchwork. So, who could it be?
Of course, the surprise performance has all the hallmarks of the Foo Fighters’ elusive appearance on the same stage two years ago, where they were listed as the Churn-Ups. Since that event, it has sent the minds of the Glasto diehards whirring as to who Patchwork could be, and why exactly they seem so keen to keep their prized spot at the world’s biggest festival under wraps.
The detectives can do the guesswork all they like, but until the mysterious Patchwork rock on to stage that Saturday evening in three weeks’ time, no one is set to know the real answer. It could be a pretty obvious staple, someone who has become a stalwart of other Glastonburys gone by, or a complete left-field shock. Either way, the Eavises are keeping us guessing.
In the meantime, as the speculation mounts as to who the real Patchwork could be, we have listed five of the main contenders. Ranging from the most likely to the somewhat obscure, there’s a massive divide over Patchwork’s identity. That said, with a number of ‘TBA’ slots still to be filled on the Glastonbury bill, no one is out of contention. As it turns out, even though Patchwork is just one act, we may end up seeing more of the contenders on the eventual line-up.
Who could be performing as Patchwork at Glastonbury?
Haim
Starting with the most likely offenders, Haim are the leading name when it comes to the potential identity of Patchwork, for more reasons than one. To begin with, they’re Glastonbury veterans, having played the festival numerous times over their tenure. Now, with new album I Quit shortly on the horizon, there’s also a suspicious gap in their touring schedule after they’ve played the Dreamland Summer Series in Margate on June 27th, the night before Patchwork’s performance at Worthy Farm.
Then there’s the matter of the name itself – and the clues are bound to start falling into place. The band of sisters share a surname with the author Sylvia Haim, who previously wrote a novel called Patchwork. It might seem to have sealed the deal, but equally, perhaps this obvious trap is a red herring, and despite the similarities, Patchwork might not be Haim at all.
Mumford and Sons
Another strong candidate is potentially Mumford and Sons, what with their latest album Rushmere having been released at the end of March, before they head out on a UK and European tour in the latter stages of the year. Could Glastonbury be the warm-up to end all warm-ups?
Let’s not forget that the band did actually headline Worthy Farm back in 2013, so the Pyramid Stage would at least be relatively familiar territory. In terms of the Patchwork moniker, could it be to do with Mumford and Sons’ folk origins? A hint towards their dynamic as a band? Only time will tell.
Pulp
In many ways, Pulp are the very definition of Glastonbury. They’ve played it countless times, right from the very top echelons of headlining the Pyramid down to every calibre of smaller stage. They’ve even got form when it comes to surprise sets, pulling off an elusive appearance on the Park Stage in 2011.
Given the hype around their return to studio form with the hotly anticipated album More being released on June 6th, it does seem strange that Jarvis Cocker and Co haven’t yet been slated to take the trek back to their spiritual sonic home – or, at least, not yet. The frontman said in April that Pulp would only play Glasto this year in a “life or death” circumstance – but Patchwork could indeed be ‘patching up’ that very situation.
Timothée Chalamet
It admittedly seems unlikely that a Hollywood mega star would take such a prominent space at a music festival, but stranger things have happened. To that end, since Timothée Chalamet gave his Oscar-nominated turn as Bob Dylan in A Complete Unknown, rumours have swirled incessantly that he could appear live as the man himself at some point. Glastonbury could be just the right place.
Given some of Dylan’s most famous 1960s fashion statements included his classic patchwork jacket, which Chalamet was seen sporting in the film, the name Patchwork could be a nod to that very prized item of clothing. But with there being a Dylan tribute already on the Glastonbury bill – on the Acoustic Stage – could they be set to be upstaged?
Lewis Capaldi
In a previous life, he may have called himself the Scottish Beyoncé, but could Lewis Capaldi now be turning to Patchwork to slip under the radar? It might seem a bit of a stretch, but returning to Glastonbury – and no less the Pyramid Stage – would represent the ultimate comeback, after he was unable to fully finish his set at the festival in 2023 and has been on hiatus since.
A bit of my Scottish insider knowledge may help in this context, as the word ‘Patch’ in Glaswegian slang means to leave or abandon something. Maybe this is Capaldi’s way of telling us he’s ‘patched work’ for so long, but now he’s coming back? Sure, it’s possibly clutching at straws, but one can speculate.
