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Fuzz Townshend says he once dipped his penis in Boris Johnson’s beer

Fuzz Townshend, the former drummer of Pop Will Eat Itself, has claimed that he once dipped his penis in a pint belonging to Conservative politician Boris Johnson.

Townshend, now a TV presenter, explained that he shares mutual friends with the politician and, when buying a round of beers, seized the opportunity to add a little extra flavour to his pint.

Apparently, while getting the round in, Townshend slipped off to the toilets to “dip his knob” in Boris’ pint of really ale: “He arrived as it was my round,” Townshend explained. “So I said ‘Would you like a drink?’ I was drinking a pint of real ale and he said ‘What’s that like?’ I said ‘yeah, it was pretty good’ so he said ‘I’ll have one of those’.

“I went to the bar but the barrel had to be changed. I brought out my friends drinks, they were on gin and tonics or something like that. Then I had to go back in for the pints. I got the pints and I turned round I noticed that to my left on the way out was the gents’ toilets.

“Now I did need a wee. And I thought, I’m going to go in to the loo. Then when I was in the loo I thought ‘this is an opportunity of a lifetime, I have a politician here, it doesn’t matter which politician.’

“So I dipped my knob in Boris Johnson’s pint and then topped it up with mine.”