The funniest lyrics of David Bowie’s career
Perhaps the greatest songwriter Britain has ever produced, David Bowie is most often remembered for his stunningly poetic lyrics that soundtracked the lives of so many people around the globe. His final imprint on the world, Black Star, is a heartbreaking record detailing Bowie coming to terms with the fact his life was nearing its end. If that wasn’t enough, over the years, some of his most popular tracks have covered the topics of alienation, apocalypse and even scary monsters (…and super creeps).
Although all of that paints a somewhat dour image of the songwriter, it is important to remember him for his vibrant use of colour, intense creativity and endless ability to reinvent himself. Furthermore, Bowie was a quick-witted lover of comedy. The Thin White Duke can be heard laughing and joking around in countless interviews from across his career.
In addition to that, many will remember his iconic appearance on the Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant sitcom Extras, serenading Gervais with one of the star’s lesser-known tracks, ‘Chubby Little Fat Man’. The singer was also noted for his love of cult sketch comedy The Fast Show, even doing an impression of one of Paul Whitehouse’s characters on a documentary made during one of his many worldwide tours. Of course, the Brixton-born artist also played roles in numerous comedy films during his work as an actor.
Throughout his career, Bowie’s penchant for comedy often bled over into his music. The glam rocker can be heard laughing and joking at the start of ‘Andy Warhol’ from Hunky Dory, but many of his lyrics have a certain comedy to them too – either intentionally or otherwise. With such a large volume of material recorded during a career which spanned over five decades, it is easy to see how fans have found the fun in some of his lyrics.
With that in mind, join us as we count down five of Bowie’s funniest lyrics.
David Bowie’s funniest lyrics:
5. “Under the moonlight, the serious moonlight” – ‘Let’s Dance’
What does that mean, David? Taken from one of his most popular tracks, this line from the 1983 classic ‘Let’s Dance’ seems to conjure up an amusing image of a weirdly stern moon. – perhaps evoking an image of A Trip to the Moon, sans rocket.
‘Let’s Dance’ wasn’t just a song; it was a seismic shift in Bowie’s sonic landscape. Departing from the avant-garde realms he often traversed, Bowie embraced a rhythmic, dance-infused sound that reverberated with the zeitgeist of the era. With Nile Rodgers’ funk-infused guitar licks and a groove that could move mountains, the track became an irresistible invitation to lose oneself in the rhythm.
The vision of a serious, disapproving moon, perhaps with its arms crossed, watching over a dimly-lit David Bowie dancing with an undisclosed partner is undeniably funny.
4. ‘The Laughing Gnome’
Prior to the success he found in ‘Space Oddity’ and the later glam-rock boom of the early 1970s, Bowie spent much of the 1960s desperately trying to break into the musical mainstream. Perhaps the most bizarre example of that comes in the form of his 1967 single, ‘The Laughing Gnome’. The strange novelty single, featuring a high-pitched ‘gnome’ voice created by Bowie’s vocals being sped up in a proto-Alvin and the Chipmunks style, was deservedly a flop.
You have got to start somewhere, even if you are David Bowie, and whilst this fever dream of a song may have served as something of an embarrassment to the musician in his later years, it must be commended for the sheer volume of gnome puns it manages to fit into three minutes. Notable highlights include ‘gnome office’ (Home Office), ‘Rolling Gnome’ (Rolling Stone) and, for the academics among you, ‘The London School of Ecognomics’ (The London School of Economics).
3. “Mickey Mouse has grown up a cow” – ‘Life On Mars’
This line from ‘Life On Mars’, one of Bowie’s most iconic tunes, has been theorised to be a serious comment on the problems inherent in commercialism and capitalism. It suggests that Mickey Mouse, a childhood friend to children worldwide, has become a ‘cash cow’ to be milked for its commercial value.
Despite this, the mental image of Mickey Mouse morphing Jekyll and Hyde style into a cow is pretty funny. This is especially true given that the line is preceded by “It’s on America’s tortured brow”, summoning an image of a very worried American public viewing the metamorphosis with terror.
2. “Don’t ask me, I don’t know any hallways” – ‘Teenage Wildlife’
Taken from his 1980 record Scary Monsters (and Super Creeps), ‘Teenage Wildlife’ is a comment on the state of the music industry at the time. Suggesting that the industry can be a cruel place, Bowie delivers a mock conversation partway through the song between himself and a budding young musician who can’t seem to get anywhere in the business. Rather than giving advice, such as telling the young musician to write a novelty song about gnomes, Bowie simply replies, “Don’t ask me, I don’t know any hallways”.
Its meaning itself is fairly bleak, but the delivery of the line certainly elicits a laugh. In his brooding, almost crooner-ish style, it sounds as if Bowie is defensively responding to an unusual question about hallways, of all things. It could almost be as though the singer had been accused of some crime which took place in a hallway and is attempting to defend himself against a police interview.
1. “Don’t look at the carpet, I drew something awful on it” – ‘Breaking Glass’
‘Breaking Glass’, taken from 1977’s seminal Low, has a few memorable lyrics in it. “You’re such a wonderful person, but you got problems”, for instance, sounds as though Bowie could be a Love Island contestant explaining why he has decided to ‘crack on’ with somebody else in the villa. The preceding line, however, sounds as though Bowie is a petulant child attempting to distract his parents from some carpet vandalism.
Actually referencing the period in Berlin when the songwriter would draw The Tree of Life on his floor, it just feels like a funny image to imagine David Bowie attempting to cover up a carpet and distract you. It’s OK, David, we won’t look.
