Five toys that need movie adaptations
There’s some serious Barbie-mania going on right now. It seems that in any direction you glance, whether online or in the real world, you’ll be greeted by a swathe of pink, a flash of Margot Robbie, a glimpse of Ryan Gosling’s Ken and just general ear-piercing hysterical screams.
That hype is thankfully likely to die down at some point after Barbie is released, though. However, we’ve recently learned that Mattel (the toy company that manufactures Barbie) will be delving further into their wares and bringing a number of other toys to the big screen.
We’re really hoping that Greta Gerwig and Margot Robbie can bring movies based on toys into a new age of prosperity and genuine cinematic quality because, up to this point, the offerings have been relatively tame. And that’s being rather kind on a good day.
So today, we’re diving back into the toy chest of our youth and picking out some of our favourite games and toys that should be given a shot when it comes to bringing them into cinematic glory. From puzzles to figurines, stop what you’re doing because it’s playtime.
Five toys that need movie adaptations:
Action Man
With all the hype surrounding everyone’s favourite doll Barbie, we are left wondering as to the cinematic fate of her male counterpart, the muscular Action Man, a cherished companion of any snotty-nosed, baseball-capped young lad.
We’ve seen Mr Man appear in the odd animated movie or two over the years, but he’s never been given the full treatment. If there’s a satirical eye being cast on Barbie by Noah Baumbach and Greta Gerwig, then surely our army hero ought to deserve the same attention. Writers could play with his iconic status to no end and deliver a telling examination of the action movie genre in the process.
Alien Birthpods
A true love of any British playground kid of the late 1990s and early 2000s, the Alien Birthpods were a true item of cult status. Rumour had it that with enough warmth, care and attention, the gooey little alien inside the pod would actually give birth to a tiny offspring.
A movie adaptation is well worth a punt. Not only would it bring in the profitable nostalgic crowd and make a few bob in the process, but there’s plenty of scope to explore different genres. Could a romance betwixt such aliens bring tears to the eyes, or would writers and producers go in the way of horror (i.e. Ridley Scott’s 1979 classic) and make the gooey monsters a thing of true terror? This one’s definitely worth a shout.
Chess
The age-old game of chess is currently experiencing something of a cultural renaissance. Many celebrities are currently trying their hand at the logical challenge following the success of Netflix’s The Queen’s Gambit, including the likes of Tyler, the Creator.
While chess has often been examined in film (say Bergman’s The Seventh Seal), what we’d love to hate to see is a big live-action version in which the stakes are violent and bloody. Perhaps unsuspecting individuals get dragged into a human-sized game of chess in a truly effed-up version of the game, a la the horror movies of the mid-2000s.
Furby
Furby became one of the “must-have” toys of the late 1990s, and millions upon millions of the weird hairy creatures were shipped out into the embracing arms of children all across the world. It would, without a doubt, make for a brilliant movie adaptation (besides the crap 2005 and 2015 offerings), especially with the current wave of nostalgia that seems to be gripping cinema.
We can’t help but think that the best move for a Furby adaptation would be a tongue-in-cheek horror flick in the style of Gremlins. After all, looking at a Furby brings the cutest of emotions to one’s heart, but can you just imagine what happens when it malfunctions, its eyes turn red, and that little beak comes after you? We can only dread to think.
Rubik’s Cube
The Rubik’s Cube managed to achieve that iconic cultural status ever since it was first invented in 1974 by a Hungarian sculptor and architecture professor. The cube has been spotted in the hands of many a frustrated puzzler, and competitions have sprung up all over the world to see who can complete it the fastest.
When we think of the Rubik’s Cube and a potential movie adaptation, we can’t help but think of something in the style of David Cronenberg (Videodrome or eXistenZ) or Clive Barker’s Hellraiser. Turn that Rubik’s Cube into an existential and metaphysical mode of torture, and at the very least, you have a cult classic B-movie right there in your hands.
