The five most preposterous lawsuits in cinema history
Hollywood has a long and storied obsession with courtroom dramas. And the clue is in the name; lawsuits and prosecutions have a narrative that can spark jaw-dropping outcomes on occasion, and the writers and directors of movies have captured them to fine effect for decades.
Some examples of when they do that well would be the incredible Anatomy of a Murder with Jimmy Stewart, which if you haven’t seen is an absolute must, Sidney Lumet’s 12 Angry Men which is like sitting in a pressure cooker for 90 minutes (in a good way) and the fantastically twisty Witness for the Prosecution, which has a kind of ‘Bruce Willis in The Sixth Sense’ moment.
But the courtroom isn’t always a place for gripping drama. Hollywood sometimes also likes to make legal movies about the most pointless, irrelevant stuff, plots revolving around lawsuits that either make no sense or aren’t rooted in reality.
That being the ‘case’, let’s have a look at cases that should have stayed firmly inside the scriptwriter’s pen. Or a typewriter if they used one of those.
The five most unbelievable lawsuits in cinema history:
The man who sued God (2001)
Let’s start off by going big. If you’re going to sue anyone, then why not reach for the top of the pile and sling a lawsuit at the big man (or woman, or gas) themselves in the shape of the Lord Almighty. That’s what happens in this Aussie comedy starring wild-haired jock Billy Connolly from 2001, which apparently was a reasonable success down under, but then who knows what they get up to over there.
The ‘Big Yin’ plays a frustrated lawyer-cum-fisherman whose boat is struck by lightning and blown to bits, but the insurance won’t pay out because it’s an ‘Act of God’ and so, of course, he sues God in court, because why wouldn’t you. I would say he should be laughed out of court, but then this is a comedy set in a court, so that’s kind of the point.
Miracle on 34th St (1947)
There have been countless versions of this festive favourite over the years, but for the purpose of today’s lesson, let’s just focus on the original from 1947, the black and white one which Americans know and love, but that you don’t see quite as often over here.
The question of whether Santa Claus is real or not (he is) has been asked for generations now, but this movie takes things on a little, as a bearded old gent called Kris Kringle gets put in the dock and grilled on whether or not he’s the real Father Christmas (he is).
Despite the fact that our facially-follicled Nordic chum works in a department store, it transpires thanks to the hard work of a little girl and her lawyer, who presumably is working pro bono, that he is in fact the inhabitant of the North Pole, and so by the end of it, everyone gets their presents. Phew.
Bee Movie (2007)
Jerry Seinfeld took all kinds of flak for doing this animated movie, not least for dressing up as a giant bee and death-sliding from the roof of a Cannes hotel in the name of self-promotion. But to be honest, the daftest thing about this sub-Pixar effort was the lawsuit at the centre of it.
Essentially, the main bee character is really pissed off that people enjoy the taste of honey, and so sues the human race for stealing it all, despite the fact that by doing so, we are putting money in their fuzzy little pockets and keeping them in stripy sweaters. Hugely ungrateful, so don’t have any sympathy for them when they get squished by a pint glass in summer.
The Advocate (or The Hour of the Pig) (1993)
Colin Firth took the lead in this bizarre French-made movie set in the 15th Century, which tells the story of a young Parisian lawyer who decides to move to the countryside, only to get caught up in a lawsuit in which he has to defend a pig.
Here’s where it gets even more ridiculous: the pig stands accused of the murder of a boy, which, as we know, is impossible because pigs can’t even look up, let alone plot the downfall of a human with premeditated intent. Also, they live in mud.
The Jerk (1979)
In this admittedly very amusing Steve Martin vehicle from the late seventies, a particularly stupid man is raised by a poor black family, and thinks that he is indeed black, and so can’t do things like dance properly. But nevertheless, he inadvertently invents a device that secures glasses to people’s faces called the ‘Opti-grab’, which lots of people want, and makes a fortune out of it.
Unfortunately for him, he winds up in court being sued by countless customers who have been made cross-eyed by the madcap device and winds up losing $10m, rendering him totally penniless and right back where he started.
