Five great directors who only make terrible movies
Movie directors really do have a horrible job. Even the greats get stick from ungrateful fans who aren’t happy with the years of work they put in to keep them entertained for two hours. So, imagine how hard it must be for those less gifted behind the camera.
Some directors are truly lost causes, to the point where you wonder why anybody ever let them make a movie in the first place. However, amongst the Uwe Bolls of this world, there are some ‘bad’ filmmakers who, when you break things down, actually have some talent. They’re just very good at hiding it.
All of the following examples clearly know how to make a movie and make it well. The problem is that they have rarely (if ever) been able to put all the pieces together or, if they were once great, have fallen on some very hard times.
These five are all still working in the directing space, so there’s every chance that their magnum opus is just around the corner. However, based on what they’ve brought to the table so far, that may just be a pipe dream.
Five great directors who make terrible films:
Paul WS Anderson
There are two easy ways to tell if a film has been by Paul Thomas Anderson or Paul WS Anderson. Firstly, if the movie has Milla Jovovich in it, it’s WS. The pair have been married since 2009, with Anderson taking every opportunity to employ his wife. Secondly, if the film is good, it’s probably Thomas, whereas if it’s a schlocky, braindead mess, it’s probably WS. The likes of the ‘Resident Evil’ series, Alien vs. Predator, and the god-awful Pompeii are just a few examples of the filmmaker’s ambition being horribly misapplied.
The most annoying thing about Anderson is that he is capable of greatness. His 1997 film Event Horizon is fantastic; a stunningly simple throwback to the character-driven sci-fi adventures of old, with a little bit of eldritch horror thrown in for good measure. The further away Anderson has gotten from this early-career highlight, the worse his efforts have become. If he could somehow find a way to get back to basics, to shun expensive special effects in favour of a good story and compelling action, then maybe the rest of the world would stop being so hard on him.
Tarsem Singh
When Indian director Tarsem Singh released his first feature-length film, 2000’s The Cell, critics had no idea what to make of it. The film, which stars Jennifer Lopez as a psychologist sent into the mind of a serial killer to gather information about his final victim, split viewers right down the middle. Some said it relied too much on style over substance, sacrificing coherency for flashy visual effects, whilst others like Roger Ebert praised it as an innovative, yet highly-relatable story.
Regardless of what you thought of The Cell, Singh has never managed to attain a similar level of conversation. His other films, which include the Greek fantasy Immortals, and the Snow White-inspired Mirror Mirror, are either also tainted by his overreliance on visual gimmickry or are straight-up dull. He can’t seem to get the balance right between a decent story and something that is interesting to watch. Even when he returned to a similar concept to The Cell with 2015’s Self/less, the magic just wasn’t there anymore. With the proper script, he could be capable of greatness, but, as it stands, that is yet to happen.
Eli Roth
The trajectory of Eli Roth’s career is fascinating. He started out making low-budget, highly-disturbing horror movies, such as Cabin Fever and the first two ‘Hostel’ movies. Since then, he has gone more mainstream, spearheading The House with a Clock in Its Walls for Universal and, most recently, the big-screen adaptation of Borderlands. Were either of those movies as good as they could have been? Not at all. In fact, some critics called Borderlands one of the worst movies of the year, but also one of the worst video game films ever. And that’s saying something.
To find Roth’s best work, you have to go all the way back to the aforementioned Cabin Fever, his first movie from 2002. This low-budget ‘trapped in the woods’ horror is tense, pacey, and looks good for how little money was spent on it. In contrast, the much more elaborate 2016 remake (which Roth did not direct) is a complete disaster. Roth clearly has decent ideas and some knowledge of how to shoot them, but his issues with consistent storytelling and audience engagement keep him from obtaining that one release that would make everyone sit up and take notice.
Robert Zemeckis
This one feels really bad. Robert Zemeckis is responsible for some of the greatest movies of all time; Who Framed Roger Rabbit; Cast Away; Forrest Gump; the goddamn ‘Back to the Future’ trilogy! He is an Oscar winner and a Hollywood legend, so why have all his recent movies flopped? His last three films have all been shockers. His remakes of The Witches and Pinocchio were mauled by critics, while 2024’s Here, which follows a digitally de-aged Tom Hanks and Robin Wright across their entire lives, did not receive the hype that such a bold idea should have.
Zemeckis’ last truly great movie was 2012’s Flight, which stars Denzel Washington as an alcoholic pilot. Even prior to that, his work was wildly inconsistent. Everyone remembers how underwhelming The Polar Express was, while his attempts to tell the stories of Beowulf and A Christmas Carol were met with lukewarm responses all round. He is clearly a visionary who isn’t afraid to take risks, but Zemeckis’ recent and historical failures are a warning that, just because you have a big idea, doesn’t mean the end result is going to turn out well.
Michael Bay
Here he is, folks. The King of the Explosion; The Master of the Muddled Metaphor; one of the biggest shovellers of cinematic slop to ever (dis)grace the profession – the incomparable Michael Bay. What is there to say about this guy that hasn’t already been said? His ‘Transformers’ movies are garbage, Armageddon made (and continues to make) no sense, and the rest of his filmography is littered with missteps and downright travesties. So, how did he become the fourth-highest-grossing director of all time?
There aren’t that many directors whose work is instantly recognisable, so by that definition, Bay is a textbook auteur. He does things his way, makes the movies he wants to make, and, for the most part, people turn up to watch them. He has a flair for the dramatic, sure, but when has that ever been a bad thing? If his ‘Transformers’ films weren’t so weirdly scripted and perverse, then there would be a great amount of enjoyment to be gained from watching big robots smash into each other. The fact that so many conversations have been had about Bay over the years shows that he generates interest, a trait most artists would give an arm and a leg for.
