Existential Boozer: A Proustian pint with Baxter Dury
How on earth do you get to know someone in 2025? The modern age is awash with bombarding bots, sinister rabbit holes, and all sorts of bothersome quick-fire quirks that have given rise to a deep-seated isolation at the core of all our problems. Your old buddy from school is a mystery, let alone Baxter Dury.
Thankfully, Marcel Proust was pondering this very predicament back in the 19th century, and he happened upon a suitably snappy solution.
The great French existentialist was partial to partaking in a popular parlour game known as Album des Confidences, or ‘confession albums’ to those who skipped French class. These were, in effect, questionnaires orchestrated to scratch the itch of someone’s inner psyche and present pissed-up dinner party guests with a deeper understanding of who they were sharing beef and beaujolais with.
Proust, in his pontificating way, became obsessed with this humble parlour game, believing that the right selection of incisive questions can prove deeply revealing in the most casual of ways. After all, when he was 13 or 14, and his answers in response to a jousting bout of Album des Confidences were noted down for posterity, they helped to launch a literary career that would later be celebrated as one of the most profound in human history.
Whether you took it seriously or quipped your way back to the safety of less intrusive conversation, the Remembrance of Things Past writer figured something would be revealed. If not, at least you’d likely have a laugh and a tipple. So, in due time, Proust jotted down his own perfect questionnaire, and we figured that to present the great performers of today with these sacred 35 probes would be a fun way to actually delve into their creative minds.
What’s more, Proust’s emphasis on punchiness proves rather algorithm-friendly, so even with the million distractions of the modern age, you can actually still, finally, at long bloody last, get to know someone in six or so minutes. Meanwhile, we get to enjoy a pint with our favourite pals in showbiz.
There’s frankly no finer way to chinwag with our inaugural guest on this brand-new Existential Boozer video series, Baxter Dury. So, over a cold pint of the Carpenter’s Arms own home-brewed beer, ahead of the release of his latest album, Allbarone, we got the swaggering pop star’s views on cunt omlettes, his desire to die erotically, and why his most prized possession is Elton John’s drumkit.
What is your idea of perfect happiness?
“I mean, it changes all the time, it changes every day. It’s changing now.”
What is your greatest fear?
“Me.”
What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
“Extreme exaggeration.”
What is the trait you most deplore in others?
“Extreme exaggeration.”
What is your greatest extravagance?
“My Zoom orders. When I order posh almonds from Cyprus.”
What is your current state of mind?
“Positively fragmented in a nice way.”
On what occasion do you lie?
“Constantly, there’s a sort of 8% blend of lies in everything I say.”
Which living person do you most despise?
“I think there’s a sort of ugly omelette of people, mostly men, all mixed up together. A sort of cunt omelette.”
What is the quality you most like in a person?
“Reliability.”
Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
“Cunt.”
What or who is the greatest love of your life?
“Apollo, my dog.”
When and where were you happiest?
“On stage, actually.”
Which talent would you most like to have?
“Try being trilingual.”
If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
“More application.”
What do you consider your greatest achievement?
“Existence of some kind, you know, I’ve survived. And the overall portfolio of artistic achievements.”
Where would you most like to live?
“In Costa Rica.”
What is your most treasured possession?
“My drum kit from Elton John.”
What’s the story behind him giving you that?
“I inherited it, actually. It’s a single-hand drum kit that was owned by his drummer. I don’t know if he even played it, and it’s falling apart, but it’s beautiful.”
And you keep that in your flat?
“It’s all over the place. It’s actually in storage somewhere. But it’s beautiful.”
What is your most marked characteristic?
“A flamboyant way of adapting to all situations, and a kind of unexpected courage I have.”
What do you most value in your friends?
“I hate my friends.”
Who are your favourite writers?
“George Orwell.”
Who is your hero of fiction?
“George Orwell as well.”
Which historical figure do you most identify with?
“[Christopher] Marlowe.”
Who are your heroes in real life?
“Every day you meet amazing people. For instance, I met a family in Belfast on the weekend that owned a disused bank that had been turned into an art centre, and they’re definitely my favourite people ever. I love them.”
This might feed into the next question. What are your favourite names?
“I can’t remember their names. Katie Rose was one of them, Ewan and they were my favourite names, whilst I met them. They were incredible.”
What is it that you most dislike?
“What’s tardiness mean? A general lack of motivation to do the next thing that you think you can’t.”
What is your greatest regret?
“Don’t have any.”
How would you like to die?
“Casually and erotically.”
What is your motto?
“All right, thank you.”
One for the road, what is your favourite Baxter Dury song?
“‘The Night Chancers’.”
