A group of erotic novelists select the sexiest songs ever: “Get you laid every time”
Humanity loves an aphrodisiac. From chocolate and oysters to steamy saunas and poisonous ants, we’ve found hundreds of ways to get ourselves in the mood. While the science behind aphrodisiacs is highly dubious, there is one thing you can rely on to get the blood pumping: music.
We’ve all been there: fumbling with a Bluetooth speaker, trying to find a track that’s sexy but not try-hard, seductive but not cheesy. It’s the eternal struggle between mood and cringe. Play something too slow and you risk putting your partner to sleep. Too fast, and it sounds like you’re scoring a car chase. But somewhere in that middle ground lies the perfect track: intimate, atmospheric, and just suggestive enough to do the heavy lifting for you.
Curating a stellar sex playlist is easier said than done. Nobody wants to sleep with someone who gets their kicks from Jeff Buckley. Equally, putting on a steamy classic like ‘Je t’aime moi non plus’ by Serge Gainsbourg will leave everyone feeling like they’re in a cheap ’60s porno. Then again, maybe that’s a good thing. What’s certain is that sex music is an absolute minefield. What we really need is a team of erotica experts to name the songs that get them in the mood. Well, you’d better trim your pubic hair and put on your best pants because we’ve found exactly that.
The sexiest songs ever, according to erotic fiction writers
Back in 2013, at the height of the internet erotica boom, MTV asked a team of erotic writers to name the sexiest songs of all time. The suggestions were incredibly varied, with Canadian novelist L Marie Adeline naming ‘Dirge’ by Death in Vegas, which is apparently bound to “get you laid every time”. While Adaline prefers songs that are “layered” and ambient, SA Today-bestselling author, Megan Hart, isn’t so sure. ‘Glory Box’ by Portishead is her “favourite, all-time, super-dooper, sexy song”. Defending her selection, Hart said: “It has this slow and sexy pace, this slow and sexy rhythm, the lyrics are sexy”.
For Laid Bare author Lauren Dane, however, it’s all about repeated, swelling chords and moderate rhythms. For that reason, she selected Kings of Leon’s ‘Closer’ from 2008’s Only by the Night. British literary erotica writer Mitzi Szereto, meanwhile, argues that pop should be avoided at all costs. For her, nothing’s sexier than a well-selected jazz record. “Lady Gaga and that whole coterie of people and that hip hop…I can’t stand that stuff. If I heard that I would just be off the mood so fast!” she said.
Still, not every erotic writer is here to push moody lounge tracks. Some reach for the kind of songs that build tension slowly, layer by layer, like a well-paced chapter. Novelist Eden Bradley swears by Massive Attack’s ‘Angel’, calling it “dark, steady, and completely hypnotic”. For her, the tempo matters more than the lyrics – it’s about atmosphere, not storytelling. You don’t want a narrative getting in the way of what’s happening under the sheets.
Other writers leaned into nostalgia. Tiffany Reisz, author of The Siren, chose INXS’s ‘Need You Tonight’, saying it reminds her of a time when sex felt electric, immediate, and just a little bit reckless. It’s less about precision and more about instinct, she said. A track that reminds you of being young, foolish and out of control is sometimes the perfect spark.
Sex and music are uneasy bedfellows, but with the help of these erotic specialists, you can wave your anxieties goodbye. Listen to the whole playlist, courtesy of MTV, below.
