Cher reveals she was suicidal during “loveless marriage” to Sonny Bono
Despite being a hit duo musically and as performers in the iconic The Sonny & Cher Comedy Hour, behind closed doors, all was not well in the marriage of Cher and Sonny Bono after tying the knot in 1964. The former has now candidly revealed she was suicidal during their relationship.
In the mid-1960s, the pair found fame with their folk style and pioneering unisex clothing. This chapter produced the number-one hit single, ‘I Got You Babe,’ as well as many other major successes. Still, towards the end of the decade, due to their perceived squareness in the era of the sexual revolution and widespread drug use, their status changed.
Thanks to a failed nightclub routine, which attracted boos from the audience, leading to Cher heckling them back, and then her husband, the foundations for The Sonny & Cher Comedy Hour were laid. They started making appearances on prime-time television and eventually secured their show, which debuted in 1971.
It was a tremendous hit, and the pair came into their own as entertainers. However, in 1974, Bono filed for divorce, leading to a counterclaim of “involuntary servitude” from Cher. Notoriously, although their relationship was primarily monogamous on Cher’s side, Bono had dated others.
In her new autobiography, Cher: The Memoir, Part One, Cher has now revealed she experienced suicidal thoughts for a time in their marriage. In 1972, she was 26 and frustrated with what she calls her “loveless marriage”, leading her to contemplate ending her life.
“I stepped barefoot onto the balcony of our suite and stared down. I was dizzy with loneliness. I saw how easy it would be to step over the edge and simply disappear,” she wrote. “For a few crazy minutes I couldn’t imagine any other option.”
The singer said she was at this point “five or six times,” but each time, she dissuaded herself when thinking about their child, Chaz, and her mother and sister. She also noted how it might make suicide seem “a viable solution” to her fans.
Cher’s decision to leave Sonny
“Then one morning everything changed,” Cher recalled. “That night between shows I went out on the balcony again andthis time I thought, I don’t have to jump off, I can just leave him.”
She maintained that they were “madly in love” during their early years of marriage, but the success of their show changed Bono, and although she still loved him, she was no longer in love with him. Cher added: “He didn’t notice me anymore, so he didn’t see it.”
At one point, Cher revealed her suicidal ideation to her husband. “Sonny and I were becoming friends again. One morning I came down to breakfast and he surprised me by saying, ‘You know, after you went off with Bill that night at the Sahara, I seriously thought about throwing you off our balcony,’” she said, referring to a young guitarist she calls “Bill’ in the book that she had a fling with.
“He laughed a little at that and so did I,” Cher continued. “It was crazy that he was telling me. He went on: ‘I figured I’d plead insanity like Spade Cooley and get seven years in jail before they released me. Then I’d get a book deal and my own show.’”
“‘Oh, you did, did you?’ I replied. ‘Well, there would have been no need to push me because I was gonna jump!’ Within seconds, we were howling,” the singer explained. “No one watching our response to what had been the darkest moment of our marriage would have understood.”
Years later, after their divorce, a tearful Bono showed up on her doorstep and apologised for his philandering behaviour and how he treated her. Although it couldn’t change anything, it was “good to know deep down inside” that he’d realised how hurtful he’d been, according to Cher.
For help, advice or more information regarding depression, anxiety and mental health issues in the UK, visit Mind, CALM or Samaritans. In the US, visit Samaritans USA.
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