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Anti-Love Songs: Because Love Stinks

“If music be the food of love… then just listen to records and get fat” i think someone said once. No? Well, then we are making that our motto this year for all our bitter ‘we don’t need a lover’ listening pleasure.

To help get you through the most Hallmark of all celebrations, Valentine’s Day, we have compiled a list of definitive ‘fuck-you love’ songs. Enjoy, weep get angry and generally don’t pay attention the all the red hearts and soppy statuses on social media. Plug in, zone out and dream of a life without lovers’ saliva splattering your face.

Too Much Too Young – The Specials 

Not only a classic song but a great way to make young lovers feel stupid, petty and generally obsolete as they march slowly towards the grave hand in hand while we all party the night away with youthful glee and skank to The Specials imperious Ska anthem.

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Happy Loving Couples – Joe Jackson 

A touch of snarling new-wave from Joe Jackson and his track about ‘the one that got away’ and can either make you feel glad or sad. But surely with the bouncing rhtyhm you’ve got to feel glad about that ‘one’ they were a ‘bad one’ a ‘mad one’ a ‘glad you’re not the one’.

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Love Stinks – J. Geils Band 

No anti-love list would be complete without this fantastic spittle filled track of hateful words about love. See Adam Sandler in the 80’s inspired The Wedding Singer for a perfect rendition. (The video is a must watch – featuring a man playing two trumpets while bouncing on a pogo-stick).

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Girlfriend In A Coma – The Smiths 

Happy to have ditched the latest crush? Wish they had a hideous accident befall them? What a perfect fit then Morrissey and his band of misery is. The indifference of our protagonist towards his apparent lover is exactly how we feel about Valentines Day. Hey Valentine’s Day – jump in front of a bus.

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Die Die My Darling – The Misfits 

OK, we may now have moved from anti-love into hatred but still the Misfits classic is about as close as you can get to sending out the hate vibes without an arrest. For example: “Die, die, die my darling / Don’t utter a single word / Die, die, die my darling / Just shut your pretty mouth.”
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 Go Your Own Way – Fleetwood Mac

After the heat of the last we thought we’d bring in a pop number and the infamous ‘Go Your Own Way’ from Fleetwood Mac. A classic track and a brilliant way to show you are definitely over someone. WHy else would you sing it, crying whilst holding a picture of your ex – naked.

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Well that’s it for another year. 364 days of love-free bliss we hope that we have kept you occupied and directing your energy towards disregarding love as a pointless, meaningless word without pertinence or power.

We really hoped you loved it.

Jack Whatley