All the toy-related movies heading to cinemas following the release of 'Barbie' - 2023

Credit: Far Out / Alamy / Hasbro / Mattel / Warner Brothers

Every toy-related movie heading to cinemas following the release of ‘Barbie’

Sun 30 July 2023 10:00, UK

After the roaring success of the Barbie movie, Hollywood studios and toy companies have inevitably rubbed their hands together, gleefully calculating the potential gold mines in their vaults of childhood playthings. Because, if a plastic doll can dazzle the silver screen, surely other toys can too? Well, as it turns out, Hollywood’s certainly willing to try.

Greta Gerwig’s work set the stage to be this summer’s hottest hit, generating ample buzz for a toy-to-movie adaptation. Riding this wave, Mattel has 45 movies in various stages of development. That’s right, folks, move over Marvel Cinematic Universe; here comes the Mattel Cinematic Universe. But is this just Hollywood’s latest infatuation, or will these toy-based films genuinely stand up next to bonafide, innovative legends like Transformers and The Lego Movie?

Let’s take a look at some of the toys getting the star treatment, according to The New Yorker. Vin Diesel is gearing up for those blue and red boxers, the Rock ‘Em Sock’ Em Robots. Diesel shared his excitement, saying, “To take the classic Rock’ Em Sock’ Em game, with Mattel as my partner, and align it with the kind of world-building, franchise-making success we have had with Universal is truly exciting.” Then there’s the Hot Wheels movie, which J.J. Abrams describes as “emotional and grounded and gritty”. Nothing screams those three verbs like a film based on toy cars.

But it doesn’t end there. American Girl is another Mattel darling vying for screen time, and, believe it or not, a View-Master film is in the pipeline. That barely constitutes a toy – it’s more of a tool. According to MGM’s Jonathan Glickman, a movie about “the old school turn and click stereotypic device with the modern world of virtual reality” is exactly what we’ve all been pining for.

Lena Dunham is taking on Polly Pocket, stating that the project will have “a lot of fun with the idea of what happens when a small person encounters a big world”. Continuing, you can almost hear the visual prompts that Dunham has undoubtedly been given for the statement: “I’m so thrilled to bring to bear both my love of this historic property and also my deep-seated belief that young women need smart, playful films that speak to them without condescension.” Magic 8 Ball is supposedly becoming a horror movie. Meanwhile, toys like Chatty Cathy, Betsy Wetsy, and Major Matt Mason (an Action Man-esque character with Tom Hanks) are also on the slate, hoping to bring in young and nostalgic audiences.

Now would be a good time to remind you that the entire premise of the Betsy Wetsy doll is that it urinates. We don’t even want to begin to know what the movie-adaptation plan for that is. Clue (this time with Ryan Reynolds attached) was already adapted in 1985 to huge success. This new one is the only project that truly seems like it has potential; with the success of Knives Out and Kenneth Branagh’s big-budget Poirot adaptations, it’s not hard to imagine another posh ‘whodunnit’ murder mystery being at least somewhat compelling.

The concept of a Mattel (or even a competing Hasbro) Cinematic Universe raises eyebrows. After all, is it indispensable to have another colossal series of franchises right now? With the Barbie movie, it’s understandable how Gerwig thought she might be able to mine it for a clever commentary on sexual politics – she was right. It makes you wonder, though… what profound commentary will a Hot Wheels movie bring to the table? We’ll just have to buckle up and see.