The 10 worst albums made by actors who thought they could sing
Acting and singing go hand-in-hand, or at least they should. They both require confidence, artistic expression, and tapping into real emotions to create something that connects with people. Sadly, there are a frightening number of singers who can’t act and, as is relevant to this countdown, actors who can’t sing.
Some performers excel in both worlds. Will Smith, Hugh Laurie, Justin Timberlake, and Cher have all been successful in the recording booth and in front of the cameras, but unfortunately, they seem to be the exception rather than the rule.
These albums are all from people who are better known as actors rather than singers who then got into acting. Prepare yourself for a mixture of lacklustre songwriting and embarrassing vocals, and ask yourself, “But why?” at least a dozen times.
Here are ten examples of why it’s OK to stay in your lane.
10 terrible albums made by actors:
10. Shine Through It (Terrence Howard, 2008)
To most people, Terrence Howard will always be the guy who got replaced by Don Cheadle in the MCU. He’s obviously much more than that, but one thing he isn’t is a soul singer, as he proved in 2008 with his debut album.
Shine Through It is painfully mediocre. Howard, who wrote and performed most of the songs himself, tries to be interesting but ends up toeing the line instead. He’s got a decent voice but nothing special, and critics agreed that the material would have been better suited to someone with more musical acumen. Bad luck, Rhodey.
9. Angelic 2 the Core (Corey Feldman, 2016)
The Holy Grail of bad actor albums, Angelic 2 the Core, is the work of a walking advertisement against child star Corey Feldman. The Goonie has had a turbulent life, to say the least, and not all of it has been his fault, but he has to accept full responsibility for his awful music career.
This release from 2016 is over an hour-and-a-half of badly made, badly performed, badly thought-out rap rock. It would be boring if it wasn’t so odd, a reflection of the troubled soul at its core. We can’t even recommend listening to it for the laughs, because it’s too long and too bad, but it will remain a fascinating cultural artefact forevermore.
8. Other Ways of Speaking (Russell Crowe & 30 Odd Foot of Grunts, 2003)
What sort of a band name is ‘30 Odd Foot of Grunts’? Well, if you ask Gladiator star Russell Crowe, it’s a good one. That’s the moniker of his backing group, with whom he has released three studio albums. Their most recent effort, Other Ways of Speaking, came out in 2003, and there’s a reason they haven’t released anything since.
Chances are, you’ll forget this album exists even whilst you’re listening to it. Crowe does his best to growl over the top of barely-hummable roots rock tunes, but it’s all very ‘middle-aged men in their basement’, and not in an endearing way.
7. Finally Out of PE (Brie Larson, 2005)
One of Brie Larson’s breakout roles was as singer Envy Adams in the movie Scott Pilgrim vs the World. She performed the vocals for the film’s song ‘Black Sheep’ and does a decent job, a marked improvement on her efforts from five years earlier.
Larson’s first and only studio album, Finally Out of PE, is subpar teen emo. She’s clearly trying to be Avril Lavigne with a bit of Britney Spears thrown in, but ends up far from either. She was only 16 at the time, so it feels harsh to be too critical, but let’s just say she would get much, much better as the years progressed.
6. Vincent LaGuardia Gambini Sings Just for You (Joe Pesci, 1998)
For some reason, Joe Pesci thought it would be a good idea to release an album of lounge music under the guise of his character from the film My Cousin Vinny. Was this done to tie into the film? Well, it was six years old by the time this wretched it came out, so probably not.
Vincent LaGuardia Gambini Sings Just for You isn’t just a clunky title, it’s a clunky album. Pesci used to be a singer before he transferred to acting, but that doesn’t mean he should have gone back to it. Not funny, not relevant, and not very good, do yourself a favour and just watch the film instead.
5. Chevy Chase (Chevy Chase, 1980)
Before he was an actor, Chevy Chase used to be in a band with the future members of Steely Dan. He clearly saw Walter Becker and Donald Fagan’s success and thought “I could do that”. Spoiler alert – he couldn’t.
In 1980, he released his self-titled debut studio album. Instead of utilising his perfect pitch or skills on the keyboard, he decided to make a novelty record, spoofing songs by the likes of Randy Newman, Donna Summer, and Bob Marley. Just listen to his songs from the Community soundtrack instead. You’ll thank us later.
4. Speak (Lindsay Lohan, 2004)
In the same year that Mean Girls came out, Casablanca Records tried to capitalise on Lohan-a-mania by releasing Speak, the first album from the 18-year-old star. Singles ‘Rumours’ and ‘Over’ were successful internationally, but failed to chart well in the United States.
Lohan’s efforts also failed to win over critics. Speak fell into the same trap as other project from ex-Disney kids; overly saccharin, empty teen pop that could have been (and probably was) written by a computer in about five minutes. A thoroughly un-fetch effort from our Lindsay.
3. The Night Before Christmas (David Hasselhoff, 2004)
In a way, it doesn’t matter how good David Hasselhoff’s music is, because it single-handedly brought down the Berlin Wall and restored peace to Europe. Unfortunately, this is a list about bad albums, and the Hoff has done plenty of those.
In 2004, Michael Knight put out his 11th studio album, The Night Before Christmas, tackling festive favourites like ‘Deck the Halls’, ‘Silent Night’, and ‘Feliz Navidad’. Actually, it was less ‘tackling’ and more ‘driving a bulldozer directly through them’. A torrid stream of Christmas crap, this album would be much worse if it wasn’t so hilarious.
2. Mr T’s Commandments (Mr T, 1984)
Mr T’s Commandments from 1984 is an EP, so shouldn’t technically count towards this list. However, it’s also awful, so it simply had to be included. The gold-wearing toughman decided to corner the family-friendly hip-hop market years before Will Smith, putting out seven songs about the virtues of doing homework, being nice to your parents, and staying away from drugs.
It’s every bit as corny as it sounds, with T softly threatening the kids to do as he says over a typically ’80s beat. His heart was in the right place, but we pity any fool who thought this was a good idea.
1. The Return of Bruno (Bruce Willis, 1987)
Before he was a bare-footed action hero, Bruce Willis was a smooth-as-silk TV actor, best known for his roles in Moonlighting and adverts for Seagram wine. In an attempt to capitalise on his rising fame, he appeared in an HBO special called The Return of Bruno and released an accompanying album.
In the special, Willis plays a legendary blues singer, but his real-life musical abilities do not live up to this hype. He simply cannot sing, talking his way through versions of songs by The Staple Singers and Joe Cocker. His interpretation of The Drifters’ ‘Under the Boardwalk’ made it to number two in the UK singles charts, but that is not a reflection of its quality.
