10 hilariously bad translations of classic film titles
The famous Cuban novelist and screenwriter Guillermo Cabrera Infante (G. Cain) once said, “Titles are not only important, they are essential for me. I cannot write without a title.” Well, he would’ve had his work cut out if his starting point was some of the hilarious, mistranslated titles that have littered cinema history with little bilingual giggles.
Translation is not an easy task. It’s not simply a case of swapping words for their direct foreign equivalent; that is not how languages work. This is why fiction translators have their own awards. And it is also why I have a friend who struggles to read foreign books because they can’t escape the nagging feeling that the words are not exactly as the author intended.
However, sometimes translators have gotten it so wrong that their work either serves as a spoiler, an insult, a strange literal synopsis, or else something that simply misses the mark entirely. And I wouldn’t have it any other way—the more absurd, the more laughable. Thus, below we have curated the most comical or head-scratching we could find. Enjoy.
10 hilariously bad translations of classic film titles:
The Full Monty – Six Naked Pigs (China)
In what seems like a completely unnecessary and unprovoked attack on Mark Addy, China stepped over the line when they dubbed the courageous men bearing all in The Full Monty, Six Naked Pigs.
It’s hilarious, I mean, I can’t begrudge them that, but the insult just seems wildly out of line with the rather wholesome film. Understandably, the colloquial phrase ‘The Full Monty’ might be meaningless over there, but to turn to fat shaming pretty ordinarily shaped men is a berserk move from Chinese film authorities.
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind – If You Leave Me, I Delete You (Italy)
This very literal synopsis lends a sinister tone to Jim Carrey’s tortured situation, rendering the film some sort of reverse Taken. For a nation renowned for its artistry, the lack of nuance here is startling.
The original title is a little bit of poetry that contains multitudes, even if that does seem slightly insufferable (like one of those bastard titles with ‘Or’ in it). However, this blunt alternative is a tonal mismatch akin to farting at a funeral.
Thelma & Louise – An Unexpected Ending (Mexico)
This one doesn’t even relate to anything specific about the film. Generally speaking, the point of a film is to have an unexpected ending, or at the very least, about a million of them apply this plot ploy. It’s as though this was the translation that landed on someone’s desk at 4 o’clock on Friday.
The only other possible explanation for such a vague title is that a sneaky Mexican was trying to induce a mass enactment of Abbott & Costello-like comedy routines. Someone would say, ‘Do you want to go to the cinema to watch ‘An Unexpected Ending’?’ and the other says, ‘Yeah, which film do you want to go and see?’ and so on, and so on.
Boogie Nights – His Powerful Device Makes Him Famous (China)
Nobody’s spam javelin should ever be called a ‘Powerful Device’; it’s frankly toxic behaviour. Nevertheless, you must begrudgingly hand this one to the Chinese and admit that it is a rather exacting depiction of Paul Thomas Anderson’s porn-based drama.
The official film came with the tagline: “In 1977, sex was safe, pleasure was a business, and business was booming.” So, perhaps the Chinese picked up on this pointed premise and thought they would follow suit.
Grease – Vaseline (Argentina)
In the 1950s, ‘Greasers’ were clean-cut early rock ‘n’ roll converts with enough grease in their hair to ensure it stayed slicker than a penguin’s back even during a rainstorm. Vaseline, however, was still Vaseline.
In fact, Vaseline always has been Vaseline, you know, the lubricant you put on cuts, scrapes and dry skin. This is one of the rare occasions on the list where a like-for-like substitution was not on the cards. Lord knows what sort of dark innuendo the Argentinian public thought this title implied regarding the wholesome teenage musical.
Leaving Las Vegas – I’m Drunk and You’re a Prostitute (Japan)
The Japanese don’t leave much space to read between the lines with this one. The title presents the same forgone conclusion as ‘I’m thirsty and you’re a glass of water’. It touches upon the premise but doesn’t really portray the tortured strain that made it an Oscar winner.
John O’Brien’s original novel comes with poetic phrases like, “Together they stroke the silence,” and “Purity of execution will only add to the artistic aspects of the whole wretched mess.” That kind of prose doesn’t sit half as well with the bluntly comical title, I’m Drunk and You’re a Prostitute.
The Waterboy – Dimwit Surges Forth (Thailand)
I’m not sure why exactly I included this one on the list. This is definitely one of the rare occasions where the translated title is actually superior to the original. The poetic Thai title perfectly encapsulates this tale of a simple boy’s rise to American Football glory.
Not to bang on about it, but from every angle, it’s superior. He surges forth on the field, through the hierarchy of life, and he is most certainly a dimwit. In fact, this is not a mere title; this is a religion!
The Sixth Sense – He’s A Ghost (China)
Which spooky clown came up with this spoiler over in China? In the manner of an 11-year-old at school who has seen the film and isn’t content to keep that to themselves, some mind-bent dafty has found out the most concise way to ruin a film in history.
With only three words, they have undone M. Night Shyamalan’s finest twist to date—and that’s saying something, considering he has more twists than Michael Flatley. Just imagine the maudlin lack of suspense leading up to the ordained finale in cinemas over there.
Knock, Knock – Who’s There? (Poland)
As the classic line goes, ‘Polish humour is no laughing matter’. It’s a great line from a nation of great line lovers. This ideal pun is a thing of beauty. It might not say much about the thriller/horror starring Keanu Reeves, but really who cares?
It’s as though they’ve gone, ‘Yeah, let’s just have a laugh with this pile of cinematic Todd’, and I, for one, fully support that. It’s a title that almost has its own meta-artistry to it—it doesn’t belong on this list, but I’m glad to bring it to your attention.
The Shawshank Redemption – The Escapees (France)
In the ultimate spoiler translation, the French gave away the only moment of diegesis in the entire script from the get-go. Granted, the reason the film doesn’t have many twists or turns is that it’s about the journey, but like a present that you know you’re getting, it’s still nice to have it wrapped up.
They may as well have called it: I’ll Meet You in Zihuatanejo. Other rejected titles may well have been, Breaking Through Rita Hayworth and Andy Dufresne’s Rock Hammer. The only ambiguity that the French afforded is that pluralising it implies a mass jailbreak.
