10 awful action movies actually worth watching
Let’s face it; everyone loves action movies. Even if someone is well-versed in the French new wave or Japanese arthouse cinema, when the push comes to shove, they also likely enjoy switching off for an hour or two and watching the good guys beat the bad guys, and have them save the world, fire some pistols and crash some cars in the process.
There have been some excellent action movies over the years, from the glorious wire-work in The Matrix to the ultra-cheesy laidback cool of Point Break, and, well, both of which just so happen to star the modern king of the action film, Keanu Reeves…
However, it’s fair to say that there have also been some absolutely dreadful efforts in the genre. Sure, acting is not at the top of the list of criteria for a decent action flick, but some films just seem to take the biscuit. We’ve been treated to woeful plotlines and terrible performances on more occasions than we’d care to admit.
Still, even some of the worse films in the action category have something special lying underneath their poor quality, perhaps a genuinely decent story or even just an amusing feature. So today, we’re looking at ten action movies that are genuinely worth watching despite being awful. Hold on to your seats; it’s about to get high-octane in here.
10 awful action movies actually worth watching:
Daredevil (Mark Steven Johnson, 2003)
Following the success of Sami Raimi’s Spider-Man, the world was ready for another superhero movie, and Mark Steven Johnson tried in vain to make 2003’s Daredevil the best we’d ever see. Ben Affleck played the blind justice-bringer but delivered one of his most lacklustre performances which utterly let the movie down.
Even Affleck seems to agree that Daredevil is ultimately a bit daft, saying last year, “The only movie I actually regret is Daredevil. It just kills me. I love that story, that character, and the fact that it got fucked up the way it did stays with me.” But evidently, these comments show that there’s a great story to the film; it’s just Affleck’s performance that lets it down.
Mortal Kombat (Paul W.S. Anderson, 1995)
We’ve rarely been treated to even a half-decent video game adaptation, and sadly Paul W.S. Anderson’s attempt to bring the fighting series Mortal Kombat to the screen in 1995 was no different. The film focuses on a group of human martial artists tasked with competing in a tournament to save Earth from evil forces.
The problem with the movie is that the acting is absolutely diabolical, a point of criticism from critics upon the film’s release. However, Mortal Kombat is still well worth your time because the actual action sequences, as well as the general atmosphere of the film, are absolutely kick-ass, so don’t shy away from it.
Resident Evil (Paul W.S. Anderson, 2002)
As with Anderson’s Mortal Kombat, the director tried to bring yet another video game franchise to the big screen in 2002. This time it was the Japanese survival horror series Resident Evil and the film starred Milla Jovovich as Alice, who awakens in the bathroom of a deserted mansion with amnesia.
Alice, of course, becomes embroiled in the shady dealings of the games’ Umbrella Corporation, but sadly the entire movie is rather crass and cheesy. However, Anderson’s film has a certain charm, and the games themselves are also well known to have no shame when it comes to moments of pure cheese.
Crank (Mark Neveldine & Brian Taylor, 2006)
Ah, Crank. This one’s a doozy. A truly ridiculous film in every sense. Co-directed by Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor and released in 2006, Crank tells of an English hitman living in Los Angeles, brilliantly named Chev Chelios (played by Jason Statham), who is poisoned by the local mafia.
However, rather than keeling over and dying, Chev can stay alive if he keeps the adrenaline pumping through his body. The result is pure high-octane, even if utterly ridiculous, as Chev shocks himself to stay alive and puts himself through all manner of barmy situations. The film is ultimately stupid, but that’s exactly why we love it.
The Condemned (Scott Wiper, 2007)
Cram a remote island full of relatively famous stars and have them fight to the death; that’s what Scott Wiper did with his 2007 movie The Condemned. Starring Stone Cold Steve Austin, Vinnie Jones and Robert Mammone, the film tells of a number of death-row convicts being flown to an island for a Battle Royale-style shown.
Again, it’s another film that’s starkly lacking in anything resembling half-decent acting. But on the other hand, it’s Stone Cold and Vinnie Jones somehow on screen at the same time, fighting to the death with their bare hands. One just can’t help but admire the idea.
The Expendables (Sylvester Stallone, 2010)
If The Condemned was at one level, then The Expendables took things to the top of the building. In 2010, Sylvester Stallone assembled some of the biggest action movie names for one super-mega-movie, including Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Stone Cold Steve Austin, Bruce Willis, Mickey Rourke and, of course, himself. Wow.
As one can see from the aforementioned names, there’s not much genuine acting quality on show in the film (bar Bruce Willis, of course), and the plot of getting together a gang of mercenaries played by such stars is daft at best. However, you just simply have to watch it with such unbridled masculinity on offer, and those who say they aren’t impressed are definitely lying behind gritted teeth.
The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift (Justin Lin, 2006)
The first The Fast and the Furious film hasn’t aged well, and the resultant franchise is pretty much founded on bad acting meets fast driving. However, the third instalment in the film series stars Lucas Black and Bow Wow as an unlikely duo who take the Japanese underground racing world by storm, is oddly satisfying.
Tokyo Drift is, of course, the first film in the franchise missing its star actor Paul Walker, following his tragic death and perhaps his absence is what brings about an air of disappointment to the proceedings for the franchise’s fans. On the other hand, though, the Toyko setting is arguably the best of the series, and the inclusion of Bow Wow brings much-needed energy to the rather bad action movie.
Bloodsport (Newt Arnold, 1988)
The oft-memed martial arts action movie Bloodsport, starring Jean-Claude Van Damme, arrived in 1998, and sees the Belgian actor star as Frank Dux, a real US Army Captain and martial arts practitioner. Dux takes part in a fighting tournament, as per his story in the November 1980 edition of Black Belt magazine.
Bloodsport is littered with all the cliches of action movies, and Van Damme isn’t best known for his acting abilities, and well, one can conclude neither are any of his co-stars. But my word, the kid can fight and looks bloody good doing it. Jean-Claude Van Damme, yes he does!
Road House (Rowdy Harrington, 1989)
Put Patrick Swayze at the front of a roadside bar in a pair of tight blue jeans as a bouncer and let him do his thing. That’s what Rowdy Herrington had the gall to do with 1989’s Road House, in which Swayze plays James Dalton, seduced from his job in New York City to take over the door at the Double Deuce in Jasper, Missouri.
Road House really toes the line between being ironically bad and just downright bad. It’s undoubtedly cheesy, but that’s part of the reason we love action movies in the first place, right? And come on, it’s Swayze, for God’s sake. Okay, it might not be the most complex film, but watch it in the right frame of mind, and it might just become one of your favourites.
I, Robot (Alex Proyas, 2004)
Science fiction stories have always been a good source for film adaptations, and in 2004 Alex Proyas tried his hand at bringing Isaac Asimov to the screen. Proyas perhaps made a mistake, though, when he cast the human piece of wood, Will Smith, in the main role of Del Spooner.
The film tells of humankind living with artificially intelligent robots that publicly serve them. Spooner must investigate a murder case, believing that a robot named Sonny is responsible. Will Smith himself is largely the reason for this movie being awful, but underneath his cardboard performance, there’s a rich story about the morality of AI, perhaps becoming more important by the day.
