Agent Dale Cooper's 'Twin Peaks' hangover cure
(Credit: ABC)

Agent Dale Cooper’s ‘Twin Peaks’ hangover cure

FBI Special agent Dale Bartholomew Cooper, a man of extreme wisdom and a taste for damn good coffee, is also the creator of the Twin Peaks hangover cure.

Agent Cooper, ever the eccentric, managed to select some typically surreal ingredients to cure the aching body after a heavy night on the sauce. Surprisingly, it has to be said, Cooper’s recipe does not include a cup of coffee “black as midnight on a moonless night,” nor does it include a piece of cherry pie… though we’re sure Sheriff Harry S. Truman wishes it did.

“Surefire cure for a hangover, Harry,” Cooper begins. “You take a glass of nearly frozen, unstrained tomato juice. You plop a couple of oysters in there and you drink it down. Breathe deeply.

“Next, you take a mound and I mean a mound of sweetbreads sauteed with some Canadian bacon and chestnuts. Finally, some biscuits, big biscuits, smothered in gravy.

“Now here’s where it gets tricky, you’re gonna need some anchovies.” Before Cooper can finish his recipe Harry has the sudden urge to rush to the bathroom… if that’s part of the plan you can make your own mind up.

So here’s a breakdown of this magical recipe:

  1. One a glass of nearly frozen, unstrained tomato juice.
  2. Plop a couple of oysters in the glass then drink it down.
  3. Breathe deeply.
  4. Take a mound of sweetbreads.
  5. Saute the sweetbreads with some chestnuts and some Canadian bacon.
  6. Finally, biscuits. Big biscuits, smothered in gravy.
  7. Now, you need some anchovies.
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